'We love ya mate' - and so do 'Crazy John's' the biggest mobile phone retailer in Aus. The reason I mention this is that a) It was repeted ad nauseum at the rugby match this afternoon and b) from the little we've seen from Aus so far 'we lova ya too, erm ,mate...'

Singapore was fun, we find the place more than a little sterile at the best of times though, and without the hustle and bustle of hundreds of tourists and locals it was a bit weird and almost more sterile than usual. Raffles haven't developed a BOGOF mentality and we duly paid $64 (Singapore Dollars) for 4 Slings. We spent the afternoon buying Pat a new camera (well he bought it not us but you know what I mean) and then returned to the centre for a few beers and a meal at a Teppenyaki place - they cook all the food at your table and it was great! Couple of piccies below, Raffles then Teppenyaki.



After a few hours sleep we wearily met up again at the airport and managed somehow to blag Helen and Rich into the Club Class lounge. We were informed that our upgrade request (we were top of the queue) was looking unlikely as Business Class was full....bugger! It duly was, no one dropped out or died or anything and we took our places in Economy albeit in the additional legroom seats. The flight was smooth and we arrived in Sydney at around 6.30 local time - that's 9 hours (we think) ahead of the UK.

Our hostel is in King's Cross and it is less than salubrious, but at least it's reasonably affordable - $75 (AUS) for a night for a triple room and we've got our own cooking facilities and sofa so it can't be all bad. Hell they even carried the FA Cup final live last night and I managed to turn the contrast down just enough as not to keep anyone awake...good game I thought...shame about the result. The football was only interrupted by police sirens, screaming prostitutes, and drunk Aussies. This all occured on the streets outside, not at the Millenium Stadium; well, to my knowledge anyway.

This morning was a kind of sorting out/washing clothes morning which we duly did. We've booked a 6-berth campervan and are off up the coast via the Blue Mountains and the Hunter Valley (major wine-producing region) from Saturday. We have also sorted a kind of itinery (that's the royal we - it was Helen really) which will mean we're going to take in a whole lot of stuff over the next few days. The harbour bridge, opera house, Manly ferry (ferry to Manly not just a ferry for 'Manly' blokes), a couple of museums, The Rocks - they're all on the agenda. As I am 28 on Wednesday obviously we're taking things a little easy on Thursday but we have yet to sort any kind of itinery for the 21st...ideas on a postcard. We wanted to have a BBQ on Bondi beach but unfortunately the weather is cold and rainy at the mo although we're promised a heatwave by the weekend...

In readiness for the big trip north and as an aside we decided to come up with our 'on-the-road' names - the rules were that they had to be a pun on a musical artist/band and involve driving and our names. We came up with the following:

Van HELEN
Steeleye-SDAN
RICHARD ClayderVan
JEN Van Jovi
PATsy Transit (Kensit)

At the time very funny, not as funny now they're written - any better ones on a postcard to the usual address...

This afternoon we went to see Sydney City Roosters Vs the Newcastle Knights (Rugby League not some kind of Chicken Vs Medievil Man combat game). All great fun and a win for the home team (defending NRL Champions) by 34-14. The man of the match was one of only 2 'poms' playing over here - Adrian Morley. Depite him being ex-(dirty)Leeds we cheered him throughout.

Tonight we're cooking pasta and a tomato sauce and will undoubtedly polish some off the ridiculously cheap wine - less than 3 quid for a bottle of Rosemount Estate - marvellous. Jen's happy as she's got the wine option in addition to the alcopop option. I'm happy 'cos I've found salt and vinegar crisps - even if they taste like Sainsbury's own broand not Walkers...beggers and all that...

You will all be extremely pleased to know that tea last night consisted of a massive donner kebab and chilli sauce - my first in about 6 months - WONDERFUL!!!

Sorry we haven't written for a few days - everywhere we've been either hasn't had access or Blogger was down. Oh well here we are anyway in bustling Singapore. Just to update you on the last few days - we left Koh Tao for Samui where we went on another dive trip to 'Sail Rock' which has a vertical chimney. I felt bad again (all light-headed etc...) so Jen did the chimney with someone else. Vis was poor again so not a great dives diving all in all. After this we had a couple of games of bowling yesterday before meeting up with Pat again in readiness for our flight to Singapore.

We flew with Bangkok Airways on a propellor plane which is usually against all my morals but it was actually really good. Excellent service and with only 25 passengers (and 70 seats) there was more than enough space to spread out. There was also free beer and wine and an OKish lasagne.

So here we are in singapore - we're staying in 5* luxury once again (haha) here and it is wonderful - they upgraded us to a premier room (on the 11th floor, basically one down from a suite) free of charge and considering we're paying 100$ less than rack rate for one night (the other is free) it's as cheap as staying in a hostel for 2 nights...marvellous. Pat's got an ethernet connection in his room too so he's a happy bunny.

After a good night's sleep we trundled into town via Underwater World (shut - going back later) and the cable car (glass bottomed and all - gave us a great view of, erm, a couple of ferries) and met up with Helen and Rich. We had a Singapore Sling in Raffles and Burger King (Pat wants to compare fast food throughout the world) and got all exciting about our forthcoming campervan adventure. We've pretty much decided that our first 'trip' in Aus will be 12 days travelling via Campervan/Motorhome up the coast from Sydney to Brisbane via wineries, Byron Bay and Surfer's Paradis - me on a surfboard - do they make 'em big enough....? Rich appears to be either a) a fantastic outdoor adventurist, or b) a complete nutter (or both) as he proceded to tell us about how to skin a leg of lamb and cook roadkill (I've made that bit up) and the like...they've even got a stove and a couple of pans so we can cook potatoes too...should be a laugh. We've also kind of floated the idea of the four of us (less Pat when he's gone home) travelling through the outback to Western Australia...have to see how we get on for 12 days first we all agree...

So, tonight we're meeting up again for a few beers (they've gone off to do all the wandering around type stuff we did a couple of years ago) and we're off to play mini-golf and see the fishies. The next time I update this we'll be on the other side of the world...

The 'music' was there again in full effect the next night. At around 2.30am we decided to go down to check that it was our resort making the noise in readiness of our 'toy throwing' session at reception the next day. The sight that greeted us was not only bad music but of Phil Stephens doing his patented dance. Whilst hammered. Hilarious. It is a kind of throwback to the early 90s rave (little fish big fish cardboard box) and is his speciality - I remember it well from the Page days. It was incredibly reassuring to see all the Divemasters and Instructors we were trusting with our wellbeing absolutely slaughtered just 5 hours before they were due on the first boat of the day.

We complained the next day and got a reduced room rate, an apology, and cheaper fun dives - all without me getting stroppy (honestly I didn't even raise my voice!). We also explained we would be writing to PADI about a number of safety issues on the boat. At this point it was very funny to see Phil skulk out of the adjoining internet cafe without being noticed. I have never known him so quiet - who says there's no poetic justice in this world...We spent the rest of the day debating what to do and when to get to Samui/Singapore etc...

Pat then threw a bit of a curveball when he announced he wanted to stay a couple of days to complete his advanced course. We had already decided we wanted away from Ban's and onto Singapore (and Aus) so we decided to leave him there a couple of days and hook up with him on the 15th in order to fly to Singapore. He seemed happy with this as it enabled him to do the course with an instructor he trusted and a group he liked. Fair dos. So here we sit in Ko Samui - staying at the same place we did back in February - creatures of habit us.

It has been a pretty entertaining day all in all. On the ferry we overheard some Thai guy telling someone about some friends of his who flew (last week) from Singapore to Sydney and were quarantined just because they left the airport area in Singapore. Alarm bells started ringing. He also said he'd read it in the Bangkok Post. Now as the literacy rate in Thailand is very low and this bloke only spoke broken English (the Post is written in English not Thai) we found this a little unlikely but decided it may be an idea to check if there was any credence to his story. Deciding to kill two birds with one stone I called BA. If you remember we've been having problems on and off for 2 months and they haven't replied to any of our 4 emails in the last 6 weeks. Eventually we got through to Customer Relations and more specifically a woman named Allison. She recapped our problems, read all the emails (which they had got, just not replied to) and, firstly, apologised profusely and unreservedly. She explained that the emails were being taken so seriously they had been referred up (yay!) and that it finally hit the Duty Manager's desk on the 12th (yesterday). She seemed genuinely aggrieved on our behalf and said she would take personal control of the matter and sort it our for us 'within a couple of hours'. And she did.

Following us faxing over the receipts from China and explaining the Singapore scenario she said if we needed to re-route (via Bangkok) she'd waive the fee. She also refunded the China ticket re-issuing fee (see 1st April) immediately. Well within the 2 hours she called back and explained that 'Thai ferry bloke' was wrong and we'd only be quarantined if we showed symptoms of SARS, and this would apply from wherever we arrived from. We would, however, have to go through some sort of medical screening. As long as they don't check my liver I should be OK then...She also said she would be refunding all the re-route charges we had paid and she then went even further, as a gesture of goodwill (I remember this phrase from by Sainsbury days when giving out gift vouchers when meat had gone off), by giving us a further 50 quid or so towards our phone calls. UNBELIEVABLE!! So a cheque from BA is on it's way as we speak. Hoorah! Amazing that one person can do that in 2 hours really isn't it, I guess it's like everything some people are good at their jobs and others...She also said she would ring Qantas to try to get us upgraded on Saturday. That would top off probably the most fantastic piece of customer service ever...here's hoping. If we can get upgraded we are then going to have to get down on bended knee and plead for another two upgrade places as Helen and Rich have changed their plans and are now booked on the same flight as us on Saturday. They're currently in Malaysia and we all should be meeting up for a Singapore Sling in Raffles (how cheesy??) on the 16th.

We've booked a day's diving for tomorrow at Sail Rock which is kind of between here and Koh Tao. It is probably the last of the really famous sites in Thailand and should kind of complete the Thai diving experience for us. It has a vertical 'chimney' where you can enter at 19 metres and then reach the sea again at about 5 metres - should be great fun. We have also booked our flights to Singapore - on a propeller plane (arghhhh!!!!!!!) on the evening of the 15th. When we arrive at Singapore we have this to look forward to - free of charge. They basically messed up 18 months ago and owed us a favour and to cut a long(ish) story short they've offered us a short stay for nothing...! So, one day diving, a day travelling, a day in Singapore, and then Aus... we can't wait!!

A lie-in was the order of the day after we were kept up til the small hours by some very bad karaoke and the So Solid Crew (it was difficult to distinguish which was which). So after being woken at around 11.20 by Pat (in all my life I don't think he's ever woken me up...) we went for an early lunch. We then decided to go out on Pat's boat and joined his group (kind of) for a couple of fairly shallow dives just to get back in the water and to take a few photos.

This we duly did, snapping some great bannerfish and a really neat little gobie who poked his head out of the sand just for the photo. On the second dive the weather turned (again) and we were tossed about on the surface when returning to the boat - worse than yesterday in fact. We held onto the buoy line for dear life (!) and eventually made it onto the boat. The main problem was that the waves were causing the steps at the back of the boat to lift completely out of the water and then come crashing down moments later...didn't particularly want to get too close to that. Once back on the boat a few people saw their lunch for the second time (not us - oh no we're way too hardy for that...) on the way back.

Tonight is the end of the football season (although the FA Cup final is next weekend...we're flying to Aus at the time...d'oh!) so we'll probably end up somewhere cheering for someone...not sure where ort who yet though. Pat isn't back in the water nutil late tomorrow and we're planning our last beach/lazy day for a while so we may have a few beers tonight.

Back on Koh Tao - the trip on train/ferry was pretty uneventful. Pat very kindly brought travel scrabble with him so have taken up scrabble again. He's also downloaded a 2 and 3 letter word list - just like being at school again. All 3 of us played and then i played Vs Pat and scored over 350!! Not bad considering it's 16 years since the 'Daniel Scrabbles to the Top' headlines...if you don't know don't ask!

Koh Tao hasn't changed - we're booked into the new wing at Ban's which has hot showers - woo hoo! Pat has enroled and done the first day and a bit of his course, and we've been diving with a divemaster - none other than Phil Stephens. Phil is a guy I worked with for 18 months at MP and he's currently scousing it up on the island of Koh Tao. For those of you that know him, yes I heard him before I saw him. He's lost 4 stone on the Atkin's diet and currently has a Thai girfriend (or two).

Today's dive however was a nightmare - we got down at 25 metres, after entering through 3 metre waves, only for my ear to hurt and my mask to fill up with blood (literally). I signaled to Jen that I felt awful (very lightheaded and starting to panic a little) by giving her the 2 thumbs up signal for 'I need to surface'. She looked up and shrugged her shoulders, seemingly looking for a passing whale shark no doubt. By this stage we had lost Phil and the other diver who had swum off into the blue yonder - the visibility was only about 5m at this stage. Evenetually I managed to communicate via my 'slate' 'Feel bad!' and we surfaced, although our descent was a little quick and my dive computer reminded us of that fact as it made us stop for 4 minutes at 5m. We did so and surfaced only to be battered for the waves until we eventually struggled to the boat some 15/20 mins later. The conditions were utterly appalling and I, and a couple of others on the boat, were amazed they continued to dive. The boat had a kind of pre-pubescent schoolboy feel as it contained a number (around 18) Divemaster trainees. These guys basically get to dive for free until they are divemasters, ogh and they take groups of divers around. One of them even decided to dive in a poncho. COCK...this is 30m underwater for God'
s sake. The arrogance of these guys is pretty unbelieveable and there was a real marked difference in the level of professionalism between this boat and others we have been on recently. For Americans read frat party - for British read tossers. They were so irritating and immature that Phil was easily the most mature and level-headed one on the boat...We've made a decision not to dive with Ban's again...and to give my ear a couple of days to recover. It feels fine noiw - I shouldn't have gone down without taking my lucky Sudafed!!

Pat is progressing well on his course and has met some nice Canucks...meeting up with a couple of them for a beer tonight. Tomorrow is a chill day...the weather here has turned horrid (storms all day not just the night - hence the 3m waves) though so probably won't make it to the beach...as I've said before - roll on Australia...

Pat has very kindly uploaded the movies of us with Mantas and Whale Sharks - they can be found here - I suggest you download them to a separate file by right-clicking your mouse button. The diver in 2 of the movies is Jen by the way!! ENJOY!

MOVIE 1 MOVIE 2 MOVIE 3

After a bit of a lie-in - the Bangkok heat is making us even more lethargic than usual - we ventured out around mid-day. The first stop was the Museum of the Royal Barges. We got dropped off on some backstreet in the middle of nowhere, and asking about 5 Thais the way and following the arrows on various walls we got there. Once a year these 8 barges are joined by a number of others and basically go up and down the river. Some dated from the last century (well the 19th but you know what I mean) and some more were being painstakingly restored. What was a bit bizarre is that these are national treasures, right? So, in the UK, would you have yours stored sitting over stagnant water and piles of old crisp packets etc...? No, oh well they do here. After being convinced (not) by some long-tail boat man that 'no ferries stop at this pier' we duly boarded a ferry. The constant lying and hassling for Farang pennies and pounds is starting to wear us down again - roll on Australia...

After jumping on said ferry we changed boats and visited Wat Arun - the Temple of Dawn. It is best viewed from the river but close up it's pretty impressive too as it's coated in lots of pieces of ceramics. It's like someone just got a load of bathroom tiles one day, smashed em up and built a temple. But prettier. The hawkers were in full effect here - we had our photos taken in those hilarious, Blackpool-esque face-cut-out-tradional-Thai-costume thingies. Then realised there was a charge. We donated to Buddha then paid the entrance fee. Worst of all was when Pat had his photo taken with a snake and a Thai woman (!) and they changed the pre-agreed price straight after said photo was taken. Hilarious. Needless to say we didn't pay and walked off to a stream of abuse. I know, when there's no tourists let's try our hardest to alienate the ones here...fantastic logic.

After what seemed an eternity (yesterday was the hottest day of the year in Bangkok - 38.6 degrees) waiting for a boat to get us to Skytrain, we finally boarded and enjoyed what will probably be our last views of the river for a few years. The usual few people washing and fishing in the pollution made us glad for what we've got back home...

In the evening we ventured out to a restaurant we'd always meant to go to but somehow had always missed - Cabbages and Condoms. The restaurant's name derives from the fact they are a registered charity and give all their profits towards sex education as Thailand currently has one of the highest HIV rates in the developed world. It was nice to support such a good cause especially as the food was excellent and relatively cheap, hell we even splashed out on a bottle of wine. At the end of the meal instead of mints they give you a condom each. Thought they tasted a bit rubbery but boy the bubbles you could blow...

So we're nearing the end of our time in Bangkok - we do love this city loads although the constant hassle does irritate the hell out of us as you may have guessed by now. Our train leaves at 7.15 tonight and arrives at 4am - it's then a couple of hours on the ferry. We're booked in at Ban's - where we did our advanced course a few months ago.

Below are a couple of piccies I've nicked off my brother's website - we'll upload ours at some point. Still not done those vid files...will try and get them done today.

Us on the Baiyoke Tower and a group shop at Cabbages and Condoms.

When it's hot in Bangkok it's hot - really hot. We set off for the Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew this morning at around 8.30am. By the time we arrived 40 minutes later it was a scorcher...felt at least 40 degrees, but really sticky with it. The Grand Palace has been through a bit of a revamp since we last went - gone was most of the scaffolding and, to be honest, most of the tour groups - it was almost deathly quiet. We spent nearly 2 hours wandering round, showing Pat, and seeing again for ourselves, the Emerald (it's actually made from a lump of Jade...another Thai scam?) Buddha and others, before heading off to one of our favourite temples - Wat Pho. Wat Pho is home to one of the world's largest reclining Buddhas. Last time we can it too was under scaffold but this time it has been almost fully restored and we got to have a good look and take the obligatory photos. The feet are inlaid with mother of pearl and are about 5 metres high - very impressive as the rest of the Buddha (50 metres long??) is pure gold.

From here we went to Khao Sarn Rd to laugh at the hippies although there weren't many around...maybe SARS has got to them all? Who knows, maybe they've all decided to go home and get jobs...no I doubt it. Had some nice spring rolls and went for the holy trinity - Burger King. Yup that's McD's, KFC, and BK in consecutive days...YUM!

On the way back the taxi driver decided to take us via Aberdeen (seemingly, although didn't see any grey buildings or seagulls the size of dogs) and refused to turn down the road we're staying on saying it was 'one way'. When we stopped at the lights we jumped out and hired another cab without paying. He didn't kick up a fuss so for once we felt that was a submission that he knew he was in the wrong...

Muay Thai boxing tonight at Lumpini Stadium, followed by some more temples and the Royal Barge Museum tomorrow. We've booked and paid for our tickets out of here - we're off to Koh Tao on the overnight train on 8th so we should be diving on the 10th. Pat will hopefully start his course on the evening of the 9th. Not sure what we're doing after his course ends - I guess if he likes it he may do the advanced...

Pat keeps uploading pictures onto his site - here. He's got a much easier way of uploading them than we have and more space so hence why we're directing you here. We should have those vid files up in the next couple of days.

Last night was fun - back to Patpong and went to a bar of ill repute for Pat's benefit. All good fun though...

Got up late - we were all feeling a little dodgy - must have been the food (!). We then went off to Chinatown and toured around the backstreets, taking in the sights and smells all over agin. It was somewhat quieter than on Chinese New Year (!) but was still heaving. It was also very hot. We went for a traditional Chinese lunch (KFC) and then taxied it to Jim Thompson's house. Jim was a Silk magnate in the 50s and 60s who mysteriously disappeared in 1967. His house is almost colonial in style and consists of 6 houses somehow joined together. It's an oasis in the heart of the hustle and bustle of Bangkok. We had the guided tour and then decided to have a small siesta back at Suk 11.

This evening has been a much more sedate affair - sunset at the Baiyoke Tower followed by some more tradional Asian cuisine at Hard Rock Cafe...

Tomorrow we're off to the Grand Palace and a nbumber of temples, inclusing Wat Pho and Wat Arun - the 'Reclining Buddha' and the 'Temple of Dawn.'

My brother is here - he's showered and has refreshed a little so we're dragging him out tonight...should be fun. Not alot else to report really, he's brought a few provisions, and, of course, Championship Manager...woo hoo! Off out to show him Bangkok now.

My brother is not only bringing a laptop but he got this loaded on it. Oh Boy. What with the Salt and Vinegar McCoys he's also bringing life doesn't get any better.

Third time I have written this - bloody computers.

Had an email about the length of my hair - it's getting cut in Aus - don't trust the barber's here - most of them are brothels.

Market was great - huge and everything under one roof...a one stop shop...but it was sweltering, with no air-con or fans and thousands of people milling around. We didn't last more than a couple of hours. You could literally buy anything from a new pet to a new kitchen. Amazing place.

Last night we went out for a couple of drinks with Alexandra - Jen's cousin. We haven't seen her since her brother's wedding a couple of years back. We spent a very pleasurable few hours catching up and eating the most wonderful Thai/Lao food, all washed down with a couple of bottles of Singha. The drink menu was slightly limited (Water, Coke or Beer) so Jen dabbled in the latter. She's still not 100% sure though...We had such a good time that we're all meeting up again tonight (+ Alex's friend - Paula - a fellow teacher) as we drag my jet-lagged brother around Patpong. That should mess his head up enough. Our theory is that if we can keep him on the go until around midnight he should sleep like a baby and be over the jet-lag sooner...Not sure whether Connect Four or Jenga are on the agenda tonight...

We are busy devising some sort of schedule for Pat (at his request) to include all the Bangkok highlights. We're off down south for the diving (night train this time - flights are too pricey) probably overnight on the 8th, arriving in Koh Tao around 10am on the 9th.

So far the schedule includes:

The Grand Palace and Emerald Buddha
Wat Pho
Wat Arun
The Royal Barge Museum
Chinatown on Mayday (tomorrow - poor soul won't know what's hit him)
The Baiyoke towers for sunset drinks
Khao Sarn Road to laugh at the 'travellers' who inhabit this hell-hole
Ladyboys at Patpong...

Should be enough - and no, we're not dragging him to the godawful Floating Market.

First things first I guess...we got our tickets, no extra hassle or guilt trips. We also got a (very fast) trip to the airport as planned, and here we are in Bangkok. Only two things have changed since our last visit. The buses from the airport have been suspended/scrapped and the weather has turned very rainy in the evening/night. That aside, same same at Suk 11.

Today (Saturday) is market day - the Chatachuck weekend market to be precise. Thought to to be one of the largest markets in the world, with over 6,700 vendors, and over 200,000 people in attendance. For once I'm not dreading a trip to a market as this one is said to be something else. Alongside the ceramics, fabrics et al there are many many food stalls - some of the best in Thailand apparently. Great! Tonight we are meeting up with Alexandra, one of Jen's cousins, who has recently started a teaching job in Bangkok.

Now the bit you've all been waiting for - the photos. These go back to when we re-arrived back in Thailand - the island hopping really - through Krabi, Koh Lanta, Phi Phi over to the Similan's. There are some good (ish) fish pictures too, all, I promise, taken by us.

First up - arty photo of view coming into Krabi, and Jen in Krabi.



Boats in Krabi and a picture of the Bay.



Jen and sunset on Koh Lanta, and the motley crew - Jen, Dan, Helen and Rich - a night out in the rain on Phi Phi.



Jen & Helen, Dan on Phi Phi.



Sunset on the way back from Hin Daeng, and Jen in Scuba mode.



Dan entering a cave, and Jen on the boat.



Dan in scuba mode and sunset over the Similan's.



FISH TIME (and a turtle - not strictly speaking a fish - I know!!!)

Clown Anenome Fish - very cute, and a Titan Triggerfish.



Leopard Shark and a couple of the Turtle.





Manta Rays and Whale Sharks....these pictures definitely don't do them justice.







We do have some video files but don't have enough room to load them straight onto the blog. With my brother arriving tomorrow afternoon we are hopeful we can get them up for Monday or Tuesday - they are so much better than the photos!!!

Just a few things to report this morning.

1) Had a great night's sleep - 8 uninterrupted hours (Jen had 10) on a bed straight out of the Sealy catalogue. Marvellous.
2) Got our Visa's extented by 10 days - took all of 10 minutes. The charge was 40B extra than that advertised (about 60p) and the notes went straight into the immigration officer's top drawer - ahem!
3) Having hassle with agents/internet cafe owners - what is it about Patong (we're pretty sure it isn't us this time!!!). Firstly, after we paid and left the internet cafe last night the lady chased us up the street saying we'd underpaid and owed them 120B. After we'd agreed a price and paid. We were getting nowhere refusing so settled with 50B - they weren't happy, but hey we've found a faster cafe nearer to our hotel this morning so yah boo sucks to them!
The other hassle is a little more worrying in that the agents we swapped tickets with last night grabbed us in the street this morning and said we should have paid a 50% (about 18 quid) 'cancellation fee' lst night. 'Her boss' didn't know about the fee when he served us and the money was to be deducted from her wages if we didn't pay. A tough one this as she told me how much she earns a month on our last sojourn...about 5000B - 75 quid. A month. This loss of about 1200B would mean she couldn't feed or clothe her child. We did what every self-respecting person who has heard a million and one sob stories and has been scammed a thousand times in Thailand would do. Refused to pay - threatened to call Thai Airways and get the police involved. We are picking the tickets up at 12pm...in theory. I can see us losing this one. What we find most appalling is that her boss made the mistake but is making her pay the penalty (so she says...) If we sound a little harsh on her you obviously haven't travelled much in Thailand, or maybe we've gotten too cynical (is that possible for me to get MORE cynical???).

We're now safely back on dry land, and what can I say?I could say 'what a four days', but that would be an understatement. For the uninitiated the Similan's are to divers what Augusta is to golfers, and Wembley is to footballers (well, was...), except that with these crown jewels commoners like us get to 'play' on them!! After our 2 hour minibus trip north to the port of Khao Lak we departed heading out to the Similan's. The plan, explained by our superb host, Milton (who incidentally runs and owns the company too, he's been diving in Thailand for 15 years so kinda knew just a little about the sites...), was to have two days at the Similan's for exceptional reefs, lots of fish, and unusual but well maintained coral. From there we would travel north to Richelieu Rock - the best place in the world to see whale sharks (the biggest fish in the world - only eats plankton not divers though...), although this year only 2 of Milton's 36 previous trips had been paid a visit by the gentle giant. Finally we were to travel back towards mainland Thailand stopping at Koh Bon where we 'should see a Manta or two'. Again, for those not in the know Manta Rays and Whale Sharks are like the holy grail for divers. So if you want a picture in your head to see them at these sites would be like lifting the FA Cup at Wembley. Well, kind of, for divers.

The weather was a little nasty so we didn't leave port until around 9pm, arriving at the Similan's sometime around 2 in the morning. Our cabin was a little cramped (hey this was a dive boat...) but live-in-able, especially after we discovered the switch for the air-conditioning. On day 2.

So, to the diving - I figure if I went through every dive I would bore you all senseless so I'll whizz through the first couple of days at least...the last couple were a little more interesting to say the least...

We started off with a check dive to check (duh) that all our equipment, weighting etc was OK - it wasn't we couldn't get our buoyancy right so adjusted and then were fine, the rest of the first day consisted of two more (we didn't do the optional night dive) dives in 25m visibility where we swam around with a friendly triggerfish(!), and even saw a Hawksbill turtle - got a great piccie and some movies too.
The last dive we swam into the strongest current ever, and just as we were approaching the buoy line I cramped up, and started drifting into the deep blue - one of the divemasters on the line saw this and came to my rescue...I could still be down there if it wasn't for this guy - thanks Goran!!

After a slightly cooler night's sleep (it was still too hot on the top bunk though and we had to sleep top to tail on the bottom bunk...) we were woken at 8am for our second day's diving in the Similan's. Our final day dive was a significant one for us - we saw our first sharks, at least two, if not three, leopard sharks, asleep on the bottom and swimming within about 10m - excellent!! Another great day, which we topped off with the night dive. This was done in really poor visibility and neither of us particularly enjoyed it. Seemingly all the fish had gone home to bed and all we were left with was a couple of lobsters and a huge crab.

So, off to Richelieu Rock - would we see the elusive whale sharks. In most years you almost fall over them, but this year they have been driven away by currents and the effects of a couple of tropical storms, thus sightings have been few and far between (as described above)...could we buck the trend and make it 3 out of 37 on the final 4 day liveaboard of the year?? The first two dives were fairly mundane, all the usual suspects turned up, and we had good fun navigating around the rock (it is just above water in low tide). On the third and final dive at Richelieu we went off on our own for the first time (all the others were with a diveguide who knew the sites) and made a decision we thought would haunt us for ever...we turned right at the rock to resurface for boat pickup - most others turned left...guess what they saw just after they turned left...guess what we didn't see. Only arriving back at the boat did we realise what we'd missed. All the other liveaboard boats (about 6/7) were crowded round this area about 100m away and those not diving were snorkelling. It was a whale shark alright, an adult (about 6m - 20 feet - long). We commiserated with Brice, Jeff and Leah - three American's who'd surfaced moments earlier. The exhalted throng of other divers then returned to the boat, all smiles and back slapping, leaving us to lick our wounds. There was to be no time for snorkelling as we were off to Koh Bon for the night dive. Or so we thought... After we'd showered and got out of our wetsuits the chinese whispers from other boats suggested another sighting so we threw our fins on, donned mask and snorkel and charged head first into the water. We swam about 100m before suddenly, about 5 m below us we spotted it. It was the most unbelieveable sight, incredibly humbling but magical, almost like being in a David Attenbrough documentary. This huge creature moved with such grace and a real prescence that defies description. Thus, between our 25th and 26th dive we saw our first Whale Shark. It was our turn to whoop with joy (along with the American's!! - woo yeah! - U S A, U S A ) before heading back to the boat. The decision was already made in most people's minds but Milton confirmed it...did we want to get straight back in, hope we'd get a better view of the shark and scrap the night dive? Stupid question to ask and everyone kitted back up and jumped straight back in. No night dive at Koh Ban...shame...!

So to our fourth and final dive of the day. We swam to the edge of the ridge where the shark had been sighted earlier and waited all of two minutes before she reappeared. We must have been all of 5m away and this time watched as she passed, not once, but three times, accompanied by what looked like miniature sharks but what were, in fact, remoras. An amazing sight, and boy were we lucky, you hear of divers who wait 20 years and 5,000 dives to see one of these, and then only for a second or two. We had a twenty minute show on dive 26! Back on the boat everyone was elated, beers were drunk and Jen could only utter one word all night - 'amazing'.

Onwards and downwards to Koh Bon, arriving somewhat later than planned at around 10pm. At least that's what we were told...everyone was asleep by about 7.30! Sweet dreams though no doubt. Our early morning dive was a disappointment, no Mantas in sight, a stupidly strong current; we were starting to sense a bit of an anti-climax. We could only hope they'd had a lay in and would reappear about 11am - the time of our second dive. On that second dive, deciding to stay quite shallow, we hovered at around 12m in the channel they usually inhabit, and yet again, we were not to be disappointed. Our first encounter with a Manta was at Hin Daeng 10 days or so ago. Back then we saw it for precisely 10 seconds before it swam off into the Gulf of Thailand (not wearing my rugby top though). This time we saw it four times, and at one point Jen was less than 2 metres from it as it swam right at her...'utterly amazing'. We have got some great pictures and some video clips which we're going to try to upload in Bangkok at the weekend, but it's safe to say that these, whilst pretty good, do not do either the creatures or the experience justice. Again, we returned to the boat overjoyed and headed back to the mainland.

So there you go - 28 dives under our belt and we've seen more than most divers do in a lifetime. We are lucky - there's no doubt about that. Maybe we should quit while we're ahead...can't do that though - got the Barrier Reef to come. The good news as well is that Jen's ears are OK (a little wooly to start with but fine now) and now I have found a way to equalise my left ear mine are to. No pain, no blood, no deafness. YAY! It's hard to describe just how good the trip was, from the food to the diveguides, the sites to the animals - one of the best trips we have ever made, and one we'll never forget. I would recommend West Coast Divers to anyone, Milton's a top bloke, they were really professional and even gave us a free t-shirt at the end. OK so the air-con wasn't great and we had to pay for our soft drinks and beer but these were (very) minor grumbles. Definitely the (dive) trip of a lifetime.

Back to earth with a bump though as we're back in Patong (Phuket) although staying on the other side of town from the taxi-driving wife beater. We have switched our 17 hour train tickets for flights and should arrive back in BKK sometime tomorrow evening. Back to same old, same old - Suk 11. On Sunday (we're told today is Thursday) my brother arrives in Asia - hope you've packed some shorts and some sunscreen - you also might need an cagoule too as the monsoon has just started to hit in the late afternoon/early evening. He's bringing more crisps and stuff - yay! After showing Pat the sights of Bangkok (he's in for a real culture shock having never been outside a 'Western' country) we're off to Koh Tao again for some more diving to train Pat up, before heading down to Singapore and then onto Aus on 17th May.

In other news I have managed to get a couple of tickets for the 3rd (and hopefully deciding) State of Origin game on 16th July. This is basically the biggest rugby league game of the year and tickets are like 'rocking horse shit' (apparently). Good-o! We are slowly getting through a mountain of email - we will reply to you all by Monday I promise!

We arrived safe and sound to the hell whole alternatively called Patong beach in Phuket. It has got even more build up since we were last here for a night two years ago. Dan had the privilege of carrying both large rucksacks to keep the extra weight of my toes which are now a spectacular shade of black, but slightly less swollen.
On then way to get some lunch we tried negotiating a price for a tuk tuk to take is into the main area, they were asking a ridiculous price, this is when things started to go horribly wrong. They started being rude in Thai about us at which point a bit of an argument arose, another tuk tuk driver saw us in trouble ( 5 of them 2 of us), so as we started to walk to the other car and old Thai man raised his hand to slap me but missed, so he got out of his car to continue the confrontation - I would not have minded well sort of if I had said anything but I was on the other side of the road for most of the conversation. He raised his hand again at which point I turned round and said you never raise a hand at a woman - and promptly jumped into the tuk tuk leaving them gesticulating at us as we sped away. The tuk tuk driver stopped a policeman who we explained the trouble to.
On leaving the hotel this morning they we still there and called after us, a good job we are leaving today.
Despite this we actually had a lovely evening.
Dan is in the process of booking us tickets for here to Bangkok for when return from our diving trip in 4 days time.
Similans here we come.

Well it had to happen...after my little sojourns in hospital Jen decided she wanted a piece of the action last night annd, after stubbing her toe really badly, we spent an hour and an X-Ray at PP Hospital. Although there was no doctor (!) there to decided if it was broken or not we had a good look and it looks OK so we think it isn't broken. One thing was a bit scary in that at the hospital they asked my name and then she asked how my diarrhea was. They then all donned masks and made some excuse - hilarious. I must be something of a celebrity. I'm pleased to report that after a nights sleep Jen's toe feels alot better - hopefully she'll be able to get a fin on later when we try on all our stuff for the Similan's.

One other thing to note is that there are very few dogs on the island but hundreds of cats - all emaciated but affectionate. We have been told that once a year the Thais go round with poison to cull them all...at least they don't then eat them like they would in some other parts of Asia...(Incidentally someone said to us whilst in China - 'If it's got a face they'll eat it...'!)

Yesterday we went snorkelling around the islands - great fun. Saw a number of fish, and also the first sea snake we've seen. We also saw 'The Beach' where said film was, er, filmed. I feel about 95% now so hopefully my guts'll be fine for 4 days aboard a boat...

Well we've gone for the big one. After much ooohing and ahhhing we've booked ourselves on a 4-day/4-night 14-dive trip to the Similan and Surin Islands. We had been thinking about it for a while but because it's now becoming the end of the season it's a little more affordable, and more importantly, we may not get the chance for a few years as we've spent so much time in Thailand we're unlikely to be back straight away. We are going with West Coast Divers on the Explorer. Should be a great laugh - 3 dives for the first 3 days and 3 night dives followed by 2 early morning on the final day. We leave for the trip from Phuket on 27th and should arrive back on 1st May. Tomorrow we're off snorkelling as all we did today was relax round the pool and read a book or two!

We had a great night out! Having said that, after approx 1/2 bottle of beer it was obvious I shouldn't be drinking on these tablets so I switched to water for the rest of the night...

We started at a Scandanavian restaurant that I loved and Jen hated, and followed it up with a live Thai band who were actually really good. They were meant to be on stage at about 10pm but at 9.59 (ish) the heavens opened (and I mean opened - akin to a years worth of rain back home) thus we stayed in the bar until around midnight and by then had listened to 'The Doors', 'Guns 'n' Roses' and others all sung by a Thai who sounded better than a number of English lead singers I could mention...It was really good to see Helen and Rich again - we all get on really well as a group and have agreed to meet up definitely in Sydney (a Bondi beach BBQ on my birthday (how's that for aliteration!!) and possibly Malaysia before that. I have to say after last night's rain I am no longer jealous of their 5 nights on a boat...Good luck guys!

Today is a nothing day - we're going to lounge by the pool and probably head out on a kayak later and do some snorkelling. Ear is about 95% now so we're probably off diving the wreck of the 'King Cruiser' tomorrow.

I know we haven't updated this for a while but this is for a really good reason. Where we've been they don't have computers. It has been a very bad last couple of days...just to let you know neither of us is dead, or in any kind of trouble although on the former it was a close run thing, well kind of, hey you decide...

Sunday (wrote Mr. Kipling) was diving day - a trip to two of the best dive sites in the world - Hin Muang and Hin Daeng. We set off at 6.30 as planned and had a fairly basic but tasty breakfast consisting of, amongst other things, a rather grey looking egg. 'It'll be alright, it's hard-boiled'...famous last words? The sites themselves took four excrutiating hours to get to but were well worth the effort. Amazing untouched coral and shoals of fish the likes of which we had never seen before; jacks, trevallies, triggerfish, clownfish to name a few. The first site (Muang) is basically slap bang in the Gulf of Thailand and is completely submerged. There are drop-offs and vertical walls on each side that go down to 50-70m so you had to be careful that you kept at the right depth - didn't want decompression sickness and all that. Although the currents were really strong we managed to circumnavigate the rock and were follwed by the first friendly triggerfish I have ever seen - at one point I nearly swam into it, and rather than attack like usual it just swam past!!

During lunch the divers on another dive boat starting flipping out, some jumping overboard with snorkel and mask from the top deck - the cause of the consternation was what we'd all come to see - 5m Manta Rays. Although we didn't see one at lunchtime (too interested in the Thai green curry I'm afraid - too slow to get a look-in) we were hopeful we would get to on our dive. Hin Daeng is only about 30m from Muang and has a a pinnacle that is slightly above water and is a little more sheltered thus making it less 'curranty'. We entered the water into more and more fish, similar kinds to before. Again we were followed by the more inquisitive ones. No sign of the Mantas though. Ho Hum I thought - we never get to see the bloody big ones. And then it happened. A huge Manta swam from behind us, went over our heads and swam past. It was at least 4, if not 5m wide and it blocked the light out as it passed. It was a truely awsome and humbling sight and one we will never forget. On returning to the boat some 40 minutes later it appears of the 40 or so divers only 8 of us saw the Manta, so for once we were lucky. We then sat down and perused the pictures we had taken - the only one we managed to get of the Manta is slightly obscured by Jen's air bubbles, fancy breathing underwater eh?? It was then the first tragedy occured. My Osmond (house,I was in at school not 'Donny' or 'Family') rugby top, the one I've had since I was 13 was not clipped to the railings of the boat - someone unknown had hung it up, and as my Mum and Jen will tell you it wouldn't have been hung up by me, hell no it would have been safely crumpled on the deck - and it now resides somewhere in 70m in the Gulf of Thailand. I hope the Moray Eels and triggerfish are making a nice home out of it. Now this rugby top is something of a legend, I've even had a couple of emails from Uni friends who've said 'I can't believe you've still got that bloody top'. Well I haven't any more. GUTTED! My brother is, however, going to try to buy me another one when he visits Ely this week - it won't be the same though as they changed the style a few years back and the white collar is now blue, what a nightmare!! To top it all off my left ear went all dicky again and I started coughing up yellowish (well straw coloured) blood. Whilst not as bad as in Koh Tao it still hurt and I couldn't hear out of it at all.

I bet you're thinking, 'what's he moaning about - that's not a lot to go wrong - it's only a shirt', or - 'hey you've got two ears you know' etc etc...oh you just wait - it's just about to get interesting...

I awoke at 3.30 (am) - our ferry was at 8, so no need to be up so early. The reason for the premature alarm calls was, to put it bluntly, my bowels. They were just about to explode. Two minutes later they duly did, with the force akin to a B-52 over Bagdhad (SORRY...way too much information...). This continued for the next 4 hours. It was clear by this time there was no way we'd be travelling today. More worryingly I was now running something of a temperature and with all the fluid loss was badly dehydrated. We decided to get to a doctor's - the nearest one being only 10 minutes away (by motorbike - that was not a fun ride). To be honest I was not and am still notconvinced that chap we saw was a doctor, the thermometer he used showed 37.5 degrees, no problems I hear you cry, true, except it showed 37.5 before, dureing, and after I stuck it in my armpit, and also after we submerged it in a cup of boiling water. He would not accept it was broken though. Eventually we were referred to the Island's hospital where we were whisked (this time by pick-up truck) almost immediately. By this time I was more than a little delerious, the water I has tried to drink was going straight hrough me as were the rehydration salts. In the hospital they gave Jen the twelth degree about where we'd bee, what symptons I'd had etc...(we had mentioned we'd been in China 10 days ago to the health centre bloke when he asked) and we were immediately quarantined. They thought I had SARS. This is no word of a lie. Everyone donned masks, protective clothing, gloves, hair nets and they effectively shut down the part of the hospital we were in. The next 2 hours are a bit of a blur, among other things, I told Jen I wanted to se my brother and I was off to meet up with my Dad. I also thought we were on an aeroplane. My temperature was now at about 39 degrees C (102 + F for those of you still working in old money). This was further exacerbated by the fact they didn't have air-conditioning and we were entering the hottest part of the day - 40 degrees outside. After Jen had told them of all our movements (literally everything, down to guesthouses stayed in, room number et al) from the last 4 weeks the decision was made to transfer us to quarantine at Krabi (the province capital) Hospital where we would have our own room and would be more comfortable. They also had the capability to do a chest X-ray, which I was told I needed. All worrying stuff. Their evidence, they believed, pointed to SARS; been in China within 14 days, high fever, acute diarrhea, strugling to catch a full breath (trust me so would you in 40 degree heat). On the positive side I didn't have a cough or sore throat, and hell, here I am writing this two days later...;) At around 1pm our 'ambulance' arrived. Think pick-up truck with stretcher in the back and you're closer. The doctor (who was amazing - I do remember this fact) was clearly not impressed and ordered them send another one, which arrived about half an hour later. It was a little, although not alot, better. At least this one had somewhere for Jen to sit and a drip stand. What was to follow was truely horrific, an 80km ride mostly on dust tracks done in under an hour and a half. This included two ferry rides too. We believe he was travelling at an average of around 60-70 mph. When he did stop (for the ferries) he got out and had great pleasure in telling everyone that would listen about the two 'farang' SARS victims in his ambulance. Everyone he did so started covering their faces and moving away from the trucks. (At last we'd found away to keep the Thais from selling stuff to you...)

By the time we reached Krabi hospital I was so weak I couldn't stand-up and was slipping in and out of consciousness (well sleep really I guess but consciousness sounds more dramatic). I also felt as if my internals organs had become detached due to the bumping up and down - fortunately I was wrong about this. The stool tests were showing the presence of bacteria, but they still went ahead with the x-ray. This came back negative for pneumonia (thank God), as we expected. However we were still quarantined and it took another full day for my fever to drop. We spent Monday and Tuesday night in Hospital (Jen slept on the sofabed - the room was better than some hotels we'd stayed in - air-con, TV (with sport channels), Western not squat toilet) and finally were allowed to leave today. The diagnosis - acute food poisoning, possibly salmonella, possibly from chicken or eggs. Hmmmmmm... We rang the dive company and they said no-one else had been ill so unless they were better liars than George Galloway (not hard to be fair) we are at a loss as to where I got it from. I guess it could have come from the sea as I did swallow quite a bit of sea water at some point. Either way, things are nearly back to normal now and we've finally arrived on Phi Phi.

A couple of things came to our mind about the whole thing really, namely:
How efficient and professional the Thai healthcare professionals are in the main, although their 'tools' to do the job are nowhere near as sophisticated as elsewhere in the world.
How seriously they are taking the threat of SARS.
How much of a nutter the ambulance driver was. It would have been far less of a surprise if we'd died in an RTA on the way to the hospital than of SARS/food poisoning etc...now wouldn't that have been a perfectly ironic way to go!!??

We have finally met up with Helen and Rich (3 days late). They are off on a yacht for a week tomorrow so we've had a spot of lunch and no doubt we'll go out tonight (Jen and Helen are currently sunning themselves on the beach). Their trip sounds tremendous and we are more than a bit envious - seems we might have missed the boat on that one - ha ha. We may meet up with them in Malaysia but will almost certainly do so in Aus/New Zealand and South America - their website is here for those who haven't seen it. You can't look at Rich's diary without a login - let us know if you want one - I'm sure we can email you ours!!! (It's so they don't get listed on Google etc...) We have gone for relative luxury although it's within budget (bonus!!) and we're right on the beach. We're staying at the PP Princess which was recommended to us by another couple we met (Hi Derm and Teri) in Krabi. No idea how long we're going to stay here. We're half thinking of doing a similar trip to H & R (basicaly yachting/fishing/snorkelling around the smaller Thai islands until you hit Malaysia) but we're conscious we need to be back in BKK by the 3rd May and we haven't booked any planes, trains or automobiles yet. Phi Phi looks great so we'll almost certainly be here 2 or 3 days. We might then head to Phuket before grabbing a cheap (20 quid!!) flight to Penang. We are keen to dive again and as my ear seems to have pretty much righted itself this is a distinct possibility.

We have had shedloads (over 30) emails in the last 3 days and we haven't been able to reply to any - SORRY! We will hopefully do so this weekend if (and when) we hit Phuket. The connection here is so slow it takes about 3 minutes to load each page.

Just a note to my Mum - I am OK Mum don't worry about it - I haven't got SARS - I am OK - just to reasure you!!

Not loads to report really. For some reason we slept in til Midday, had some lunch, walked down the beach and then promptly slept until 5pm. No idea why this happened but it did. Just hit town for a bite to eat before an early night as we're up at 6am for tomorrow's diving.

The MP3 player seems to be mended again...this was just one part of why yesterday was such a good day. Firstly we arrived at our accomodation after a 2 hour boat trip - the air-con even worked on the ferry so that was a bonus. Our guesthouse is lovely, they're really friendly and the room is cheap - 600B (9 quid) a night. We're on the beach and less than 1 Km from the main town. Koh Lanata is great, really laid back, quite underdeveloped and a bit similar to Koh Chang - except we didn't like it there...ant infestation in our toilet is anyone remembers back to January, we're struggling to...

We also found an English 'pub' last night that serves, homemade quiche (yes I know that's not strictly very English), fish and chips and other Western goodies. He even does a Ploughman's - his next shipment of Branston arrives today so we'll be back tonight or tomorrow no doubt - Jen has booked us in for Sunday lunch on, Sunday (duh!) We watched Man U Vs Arsenal, as live, and as we didn't know the score it made for a great evening. We also managed to book some diving for today - more of that in a bit. The sites we really wanted to go to (Hin Deang and Hin Mueng) are being dived on Sunday so we'll have to stay until then. We've booked our tickets for the ferry on Monday so we'll arrive in Phi Phi for about 10am.

Today was diving again and we had a blast. You'll all be pleased to know that our new dive computer worked well and we got a lovely readout at the end telling us time in water (54 mins for dive 2), max depth (28m) and water temperature (31 degrees!!!!!) - NICE!
The first dive was OK - but the second was something else...apart from seeing the usual marine life close up, schools of small fish and some larger ones (sorry still don't know most of the names) we also saw a massive Moray Eel and an Octupus that even waved at us before swimming off. The highlight of the second dive was the opportunity to swim into a cave where you could then swim up into a cavern with an air pocket. There were hundreds of Stalagtites (mites go up tites come down...) and we got the opportunity to take our masks off and have a good 5 mins looking round - it was kind of eerie but great fun.

We have booked in to do some more dives on Sunday - Hin Muang and Hin Deang are two of the best sites in the world and we are hoping to catch a glimpse of our first shark (leopard and whale) or one of the many 5 metre Manta Rays.

We have had an email today from Helen and Rich (Hi both - glad you're enjoying Suk 11) letting us know they'll be on Phi Phi from Sunday so hopefully we can hook up on Monday for some beers and dive on Tuesday/Wednesday I guess. We haven't really got much of a clue what we're doing after Phi-Phi - probably Phuket (Jen wants to find a matching elephant carving for the one we bought 2 years ago) followed by the trip back to Bangkok in readiness for the arrival of my brother - 4th May. We have got to get Visa extensions somehow so we should hit BKK on or around the 2nd.

Today we did nothing, well really we did nothing as in we did a little this a little that. It was bliss.

Jen dropped our recently mended MP3 player which is now officially broken again. Don't think her dropping it had much to do with it as we got a different error message but either way we're both pretty peeved as we'd just got used to having music again...ho hum.

Met a couple staying at our hotel who have lived in Thailand. She is a teacher, and he has recently managed the powering of the metro construction in Bangkok. Coincidentally we ate at the same place tonight and shared a couple of stories. They're off to Phi Phi the day after tomorrow and are going to advise us of good dive sites etc...we're going to do the same for Koh Lanta.

I bought a dive computer (the cheapest decent one we could find as money is obviously tight) and a little slate thing that you can write on underwater. That means the last nag-free refuge has now gone...only joking dear.

Kayaking hurts. Not just your arms but your whole body. Yes your arms hurt after all the kayaking motion, but your back also hurts when you forget to add sunscreen and your legs hurt where you forget to add insect repellent. Hohum. Despite all the above we've had a great day getting tanned (read burnt) and kayaked round a whole island semmingly the size of the Isle of Man, but probably more the size of a traffic island. We also managed to cram in some snorkelling and fed the fish all the leftover dinner which they gobbled up. It was a bit of a dry run (there's a misnomer if ever I heard one) for Jen's new camera case which worked a treat. We're well and truely knackered so we're off for some food and then bed - it's hard work this holidaying malarky.

Just had tea at a wonderful Mexican, our first night has been lovely - Krabi seems really quiet at the moment. The reort area has a great balance between enough civilisation to get you through without being over-developed. We've hatched a bit of a plan for the next few weeks that should take us through to Aus, we're going to have to miss out Malaysia as we don't think we could do it justice in the 3 days we would have there.

The main reason for coming back tonight is to say CONGRATULATIONS to Angie (Jen's best mate) who completed the London Marathon in a staggering 4 1/2 hours and finished in 3,620th place. Bloody impressive, well done but I bet you ache like hell today!

We are now on another beach, well not on a beach, in an internet cafe near a beach but you know what I mean. Today is purely R & R, but tomorrow we are off kayaking amongst the limstone Karsts. Should be fun. Wednesday is a beach day and Thursday is the day we travel to Koh Lanta. We will be there for a few days + possibly doing a dive or two before heading to Phi Phi to meet up (hopefully) with Helen and Rich who are currently in Siem Reap.

Just trying to sort an itinery for my brother`s visit in May. At the moment it stands at a couple of days in BKK, followed by some diving. This will mean we have to get an extension to our visa so we are about to go and look into that.

The Songkram festival, for those that don't know, is the Thai New Year although their year date still goes forward one year on Jan 1st - confused? We were. The festival takes place from 13-15th April every year and the city of smiles (and traffic) becomes one of utter utter chaos. Originally, in years gone by, Songkram marked the opportunity for the devout Buddhist population to 'cleanse' the spirit of the old year by pouring water over themselves and their family. Indeed it is seen as a time when all families in Thailand get together and even the traffic in Bangkok subsides.

Feeling brave or foolhardy we decided to venture out in the midday sun to Khao Sarn Rd - the backpacker strip we usually avoid. As this is near the Grand Palace and temple area it is the scene of most of the wild behaviour. The sight that greeted us was one of complete mayhem. The street was teaming with hundreds if not thousands of people of all ages and nationalities, Thais mixing with the Westerners. For once in this area the latter were in the minority. The pavements were lined with water sellers and again the prices were standard for Westerners and Thais. There were hosepipes for refilling and tens of water-pistol vendors. The Thais also had some sort of paste - bit like a flour and water combo - which they spread over any part of your anatomy they could get hold of. Jen remarked she had never been touched by so many men in such a short space of time - well quite! Armed with some of Adam's ale and a double-barrelled pump-action Kalashnikov of a 'pistol' we ventured forth. How to describe the next 2 hours - carnage. Not alot else fits the bill word-wise really. Water comes at you from all angles, when we re-filled (and were, thus, stationary) was the worst time as water would come at you from everyone and everywhere - regularly a couple of pints (complete with ice cubes) would go down your back/over your head. It was really interesting to watch a number of Westerners who delighted in standing in the periphery and just shooting people but complaining when they got hit...that's how not to play this game. The walk down the road was incredibly good natured and many 'Happy Songkram's were exchanged along with the obligitory paste. Without doubt, the funniest sight of the day was a backpacker who had obviously not heard of the festival who pitched up at the wrong end (where all the crowds were) of KSR. As soon as she left her taxi looking for cheap accomodation (we didn't tell her all the guesthouses were closed - that would have spoiled the fun) she was descended upon by about 20 people and within a couple of minutes, her, her backpacks (front (does that make it a frontpack?) and back) all her clothes and everything she was carrying (including guidebook) were drenched - welcome to Thailand!!

Despite looking like a couple of extras from Waterworld (not exactly Kevin Costner's finest hour - not sure it had any flour paste scenes though to be honest) we managed to flag a tuk-tuk down and made it back to the hotel to change before venturing out (with a fresh set of dry clothes) for lunch. On our way we asked not to be soaked and the Thai's were very gracious and didn't throw anything at us, unsurprisingly the only guys who refused were a couple of typical drunk 'Brits abroad' who, despite Jen explaining the situation, soaked her then me. She said something to them I can't repeat on here and I followed up with a similar expletive whilst throwing the remnents of my bottle of (drinking) water in one of their faces. For once I seemed to get the last laugh as I knocked his shades off and they fell on the floor, hopefully getting scratched in the process. We decided to stay at the hostel tonight as a) we're running out of clothes and b) if those dickheads we saw earlier were anything to go by, a little testosterone and alot of beer will probably not mix well with water and paste and I imagine a load of Westerners will probably end up in some kind of fight. I can understand when the Thai press is so critical of how the festival has been turned into a glorified water fight. That said we enjoyed ourselves, and our overriding memory will be of the friendly greetings and warmth in the Thais' smiles...before they attempted to drown us!!

We fly to Krabi on yet more discounted tickets tomorrow - 8.05 flight so another early flight - we've managed to book 3 nights for the price of 2 at a really nice sounding resort. We might dive in Krabi but in all honesty we will probably save that for Koh Lanta in a week or so. I am sure we will continue to get soaked tomorrow. Just to be on the safe side we have paid for a taxi to pick us up at the airport as we didn't feel like braving the songthaew in Krabi as they are open and you're a moving target, albeit a relatively fast moving one.

Back on familiar ground, in familiar surroundings, on a patch we almost know as our second home - yup it's Thailand, Bangkok, Suk11 all over again. Plane journey was unsurprisingly empty, less than a hundred on a plane built for 260. Before boarding the plane we had lunch and spent a couple of hours with a Dutch couple who'd been living in Didsbury for the last 3 years, they have already been to South America and promised to help us out with any questions...in exchange we told them all we could remember about South East Asia - their next destination. Their plane to Singapore was even emptier than ours - 46 passengers, tourism is definitely not booming here at the moment.

On board everyone (including all staff) wore masks and we did so for the first time, figuring it would be easier to clear customs/immigration in Bagkok if we complied. I felt like I was about to enter an Altern 8 gig. The scene on arrival was one of (dis)organised chaos, half the Chinese hadn't filled in their obligatory health survey forms (to be fair it was in English and Thai script only - no Chinese characters) and thus there was huge confusion about who went where etc...eventually we found the right queue, were quizzed about our health, and had our temperature taken (Jen's was 36.5 - a degree lower than she should be!) and after passing through about 50 health officials in full surgical gear we were allowed into the reclaimation area.

So what to do in Bangkok? We're shipping another load of stuff, bought in China, back (we owe you some serious beer Neil) including Panbada who has become something of a mascot, but is a little cumbersome to lug round with us. It is Songkram (sp?) here which is Thai New Year. Basically it's an excuse for a huge water fight and tourists are the main target - I already got soaked last night, a day early - I must have a particularly irritating 'I'm a tourist come soak me' face, or I might just have looked like an American. Whatever happens it should be fun. Jen has vowed to win her pool crown back tonight so we will have to see. At this point I need to point out that when in Laos I lost rather spectacularly to a Swedish guy who Jen then promptly went and beat - she believes this makes her better than me at pool and has been nagging me to write it on here for ages. So there we go, happy now??!!

We have put our visit to the weekend market on hold until the weekend of my bro's arrival (May 3rd/4th) as most of the stalls won't be there anyway this weekend. After this we're not 100% sure of what we're doing - we got an email from Helen and Rich who have also decided against HK and The Philippines/Indonesia and are now going South through Thailand via some diving. They should be back in Thailand around 20th April and I think we're going to meet up and 'do' Phi Phi. With this is mind we will probably stay a couple of nights in Krabi (we fly on Monday) before taking the boat to Koh Lanta - another undeveloped island where you can also dive. this should mean we arrive in Phi Phi at roughly the same time as them.

PICTURES TIME!!!

These go way back to Vietnam which is about a month ago. First up we have Jen in the 'tourist' tunnels at Cu Chi and Dan on a cyclo in Chinatown - both Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). Apologies for the quality on some of these - the picture editing programme we've been using is a bit poor.



The actual tunnels (very few tourists can fit in them!) at Cu Chi and us relaxing in a bar in Nha Trang



A typical Vietnamese fishing boat in Hoi Ann, and us at the big lake in Ha Noi



Us at the rugby sevens in Hong Kong with our wonderful hosts Karina and Nicolas, and us at the Forbidden City in Beijing



The Great wall and a couple of tourists, and then on it's own



Jen on the Great Wall, followed by the Summer Palace, Beijing



Dan on pedalo at Summer Palace lake, and the Temple of Heaven - both Beijing



Kite flying in Beijing, a girl in traditional Chinese dress in Xi'an



Us at the Terracotta Warriors, and some warriors with heads, some without



One of the restored bronze chariots at the warriors, Xi'an; Panda sanctuary, Chengdu



The Grand Buddha with yet another couple of bloody tourists; the Buddha in all it's glory



As we've bought an underwater case for Jen's camera we should have some great pictures of underwater life for you next - hopefully it'll be sharks and rays not little cleaner and parrot fish...

Just to tie up the panda place - we bought by far the greatest piece of tourist tat so far at this esteemed spot (it was absolutely wonderful by the way) - a walking panda that not only has flashing eyes but also plays the lambada as it moves - uitterly compelling. We've called it (wait for it) Panbada - original huh!

Quite alot has happened in the last few days so take a seat and buckle up - this could take some time. We went on our second organised tour yesterday - to the biggest Buddha in the world, the Great Buddha at Leshan. It is over 70m tall and stands on the riverbank. To get the best view you can take the speedboat and take pictures from the river. After walking about a mile and a half around the complex this was a pretty enjoyable way to make our way back, even if the driver thought he was a James Bond baddie and kept making tight turns and laughing maniacally.It was an enjoyable day, spent in the company of the same people we went to the panda institute with - yet more Aussies and a couple of Brits. We felt it was time for a night out so at around 8pm we all gathered at 'The House of Union' which is basically a few sofas, and a fridge on the riverfront. It's very 'backpackery' but a really good place to chill and swap stories, and of course, sample a little of the local ale. It was a motley crew (no bad poodle perms on show here though) of people; obviously Jen and myself, Luke (the most bearded man on earth, and at 5 ft 11 and a half he's a real gentle giant) and Flic (another dentist - God can you imagine the conversations her and Jen had about root canals etc...), Carolyn (Aussie who joined our 'group' yesterday), and Paul (Barnsley fan with great music taste) and Dave (PhD in Physics - the brains of the operations - much dodgier taste in music, which included some Chinese alternative stuff...). We spent a good few hours just having a great time and then walked the half mile or so back to the hotel. The now obligatory exchange of emails and a promise to meet up in Aus then occured. We have also met a couple of great Kiwis who are on the final leg of their year out. Having previously been living and working in Hong Kong, Sally and Richard are returning to NZ after Richard was made redundant last year. Again, we're keen to meet up with them when we hit Wellington some time in August.

The flight situation has resolved itself but only after we've forked out 350 quid for flights to Bangkok. We were basically in a no win situation, BA would/could/whatever only re-route us out of Beijing to Sydney as a result of us being unable to travel to Hong Kong. They also wanted us to pay (!) for this riveledge despite having already paid for 2 re-routes that we now couldn't use. We still haven't had a reply to the email we sent 10 days ago...very very disappointing. We're flying from Chengdu to Bangkok with Thai Airways and, unsurprisingly, when I contacted them to change the date of our flight to Krabi they did so within 3 minutes and said we could pick up our tickets at the airport - FREE OF CHARGE. If anyone at BA ever reads this you could go some way to sorting your appalling customer service out by looking at how Thai do things, quickly, efficiently, and always with a smile. RANT OVER (again).

So, onto Bangkok for, I think, the 7th time now in total - although once we didn't leave the airport. Hopefully staying at our fave place but they haven't come back to us yet so we're a bit nervous about having to stay with the hippies on Koh Sarn Rd. We should be in Bangkok for the Songkran festival where everyone has a massive water fight apparently - something to do with cleansing the spirits from the previous year. Wish I had the double-barrelled pump action water pistol I bought whilst still a student.

After this back to the beaches - we're hoping to get some diving in before the monsoon season hits the West coast.

The panda research and breeding centre was really good. They had baby pandas and older pandas in large areas with trees they can climb, and they were contained not by fences but small moats they can not climb through. We had a photo or two taken with a panda a bit touristy but good no the less. Their fur was quite coarse not like cotton wool as I expected (Jennifer's writing this). It was a really good mornings trip.
Tomorrow we are off to a cooking course and a cultural show.
There a a few traumas as regard travel restrictions that have now been put in place, the insurance will not cover us if we travel to Hong Kong so we cant, but they will not cover the cost of the ticket we have already bought, and will not pay for us to fly out any other way. Ho Hum as Dan would say.

Have arrived safely in Chengdu - got a lovely room in a fantastic place - I think we're gonna like it here. Off to the pandas tomorrow, and then to the Grand Buddha, probably the day after. We are now thinking about continuing our tour north and 'flying in the face' of the SARS. We cannot get a refund for our Shanghai tickets, and thus we're thinking it might be better to carry on the same route. Gonna have to stock up on those masks...

The Yangtze Cruise is very expensive but you are aboard for 2/3 nights so although it looks alot you get your accomodation - the choice we have now is whether to do the locals or the foreigners boat - so a boat full of Chinese (generally friendly but spit alot) or Japanese/German/Spanish et al....hmmmm what a choice. Off out to try some Sichuan food now which is about the spiciest in the world by all accounts...you're meant to drink peanut and walnut milk to help sooth - this could be a fun night, can't be a big one though - off to the pandas at 7.30 A.M. ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now you know I said our room was a dump, well let me just quantify that a little...

The toilet pipes leak, so much that there is no water in the cistern. I only discovered this after a trip to the local watering hole when I was bursting to use said utility.
The room stinks and hadn't (judging by stray hairs everywhere) been swept since the last Ming dynesty.
The duvets smell of bonfires/urine/stray dogs.
There is a massive hole in the wall where the heating (that no longer works) exploded and caused a small fire.
It is damp.

Apart from this, it's the bloody Ritz. Anyhow after noting most of the complaints last night we were disappointed surprised (but not astonished) to find the room hadn't even been touched on our return. After trying to get some shut-eye but realising it wasn't going to happen I finally lost my rag and went to have a real go at them. They moved us at pace and our new room is somewhat better although still less than salubrious. Anyhow onto today....

Receiving our discounted air tickets we have found we're not flying with China Southern as discussed but Hainan airlines who look decidly dodgier - but hey I'm not scared of flying any more - honest...the ticket was less than 30 quid - a bargain given that the train is 27! They also booked us onto todays tour but we needed five people to go so it wasn't until 10.45 this morning (an hour and 15 late) that we finally departed...we were not impressed...

HOWEVER - the tour more than surpassed our expectations and for 10 quid, including all transport, an English speaking guide, and all entrance fees you really couldn't complain. Incidentally although the guide had leant English at university (and his grasp was pretty good) all he learnt about 'pop' culture was from the tourists he took round, so hence he thought (genuinely) that we all had afternoon tea, knew the queen, and wore bowler hats...very amusing. Quick first stop was the North Wall and Gate (Xi'an) where we bought a couple of mini-terracotta-warriors. We then went to a silk farm where I tie-dyed Jen a silk scarf, it's come out pretty well too...we also bought a pressie for Jen's sister (will be shipped from BKK Rachel next week hopefully) and a piece of slik carpetting. A good 1/2 days purchasing...

Then onto yet another tour highlight - the Terracotta Warriors. The first great bit of news was that we could take photos and we both did, despite my camera being on the blink (for the second time ince I bought it...) thinking of ditching it if we can't get it repaired cheaply in BKK. The Warriors themselves had been destroyed by a peasant uprising in about 300 BC. They were originally set in battle formation around Emperor Qin's tomb and there was approxinately 6,000 plus. Of these about 2,000 have been excavated and restored. There are many different types of figures, ranging from infantrymen to archers, generals to lower ranking officers, and there were even a number of horses (their wooden chariots long since gone). It is an amazing sight although it is a little disappointing that you have to view from a gallery rather than get 'amongst' them. There were another couple of pits they are still excavating in, a film and a short 'history of the site' exhibition. There was also 2 sets of 4 bronze horses/chariots that have been meticulously restored and are now on display. We finished the tour with a trip to the mausoleum (read big mound of earth) where we got some great views of the surrounding area.

It was another of the days we'll remember long into our old age - something to tell the grand-children we keep saying...hmmmm, little worrying that. Onto Chengdu and the pandas tomorrow, let's hope they don't sell the funniest and most bizarre souvenir we have seen so far - an electronic cuddly panda that walks back and forth whilst playing the lambada...hahaha

We've arrived safely in Xi'an and have also arrived at the worst hostel we've ever stayed at although the staff are friendly enough...think of Bradford/Hull and Peterborough and multiply by 1,000 for badness and you're not even close. Jen has continued her adventurous eating streak by trying something esle she never has before - a 'Big Mac'. Quite a delicacy out here...the plan is to stay here for a couple of days - go to see the Terracotta Warriors and then head down to Chengdu - we're having a hell of a time cancelling the flight from Shanghai - pretty sure we wouldn't if we weren't foreign but hey...at the moment they're telling us we need to go nack to where we purchased them (Hong Kong), even though (and catch this for irony) the whole reason that we're no longer need the tickets from Shanghai to Shenzhen is that we can no longer fly out of HK...

That aside nice to see you are all writing getting your own back for when we've posted 'it's 35 degrees here' etc... by telling us all about the UK weather. It's 10 degrees here (if that) and raining - you know that really fine drizzle that soaks you to the bone... Had the best meal yet last night (not at McDonalds) at our hotel - 8 quid for 3 chinese courses and a couple of drinks - magnificent...

Quite a busy couple of days - with weary legs we decided to have a bit of a lay-in (are you detecting a pattern yet?) but made it to Liu Luang for the afternoon. This is basically one long street full of olden-style shops, it was a real relief from the concrete jungle of Beijing and we spent at least a couple of hours browsing the stalls. Following some good natured bargaining we managed to acquire a Mah Jong set, two seals (of the ink/wax variety not furry club-able creatures) with our names on (one for Jen with a dragon on it (her birth year) and mine had a rabbit...hmmmm no comments around appropriateness.....(I'll get a slap for that!)), a painting and a small magnified micro-picture - kind of like the 'your name on a grain of rice'... With all the SARS worries and everything we thought we'd get the painting of the old man representing longevity...oh the irony...

Last night we went for a drink and meal at the Belgium bar we went to before and struck up a conversation with a couple of Spaniards (their best mate who arrived later was called Manuel - no kidding...he wasn't from Barcelona though...) who seemed like a great laugh - Jen got on really well with Sandra whilst I spent my time with John (he was born in London hence John not Juan...) All was going swimmingly until the topic of 'The War' cropped up and this guy starting talking out of his large Spanish arse. 'The war is justified' 'Saddam Hussein is worse than Hitler' 'Bush is an excellent President' etc etc...to compound matters on further probing the war was justified solely because they control the 2nd largest reserves of oil in the world and it shouldn't be under their control who gets it, no mentions of anything else - just oil. Needless to say he's not on our Christmas card list and his better half (who apologised for him about 30 times) kept giving him worse and worse looks as the night went on...let's hope when they got back to the flat she dumped him - unlikely but would make a great end to the story. Either way as I said Jen and Sandra got on really well and we're destined to meet up in Madrid on our final leg sometime in December/January. Let's hope Senor Ignorant isn't around...

This morning - none the worse for our debate last night - we arose relatively early and made a trip to The Summer Palace. This was the place where the Emperors and their hangers-on (concubines/eunachs et al) retired in the Summer (duh!) when it was too hot to be in the city. It is spread over about 20 square kilometres and is capped by a magnificent lake and a huge temple that is built on the cliffs above it. Again, the architecture is exceptional and all the long corridors and ceilings are covered in ornate patterns and pictures depicting the Ming and Qing reigns. Never ones to shirk a challenge we decided to hire a pedalo and duely, er, pedalo-ed around the lake - no mean feat given that it's about 3 Km long/wide and we only had an hour. For some reason Jen seemed better at the peddling aspect whereas I was clearly the better 'steerer'...

Our final port of call in Beijing was The Temple of Heaven Park, in which is the temple you'll see on jars of Tiger Balm and thousands of other products. Again, absolutely magnificent and worth a couple of hours of anyone's time.

After arriving back at the hotel we have spent a couple of hours sorting through all the photos from the past 4 weeks but, alas, they don't have an imaging program here so we can't resize them and upload them - hopefully they will in our next destination. We are on the move again tomorrow - a flight to Xi'an, which is most famous as being the home to the Terracotta Warriers, which again should mean a fantastic few days.

No or little news as yet on the SARS situation in HK from the Foreign Office so we're going to have to wait before deciding on where to go from Xi'an. Another option we are considering is to fly from Chengdu to Bangkok via Thai Airways rather than return to HK. This would enable us to get to Leshan (the Big Buddha) and to go to the Panda Sancturay (just outside Chengdu) but would mean we'd have to miss the Yangtze cruise. To date everyone we've spoken to said the water has risen too much already and the cruise isn't worth the considerable outlay...

Great meal on Tuesday at the Passby and hey, I even resisted the urge to do an April Fools on here - couldn't think of one I hadn't done before...

Yesterday was our first real taste of Beijing. We had a bit of a lay-in before catching a cab to that tourist haunt - Tiananmen Square. Again, no tanks or demonstators so we carrie don our journey to the Forbidden City via a bank and about 35 subway tunnels. Bizarre Chinese moment number 1 occured at the entrance where a young couple who spoke no English came up to us motioning they wanted to take a photo, so I offered to take theirs but it soon became apparent they wanted us to be in their photo...surreal but obviously we agreed and gave a cheesy grin even Tony Blair would have been proud of, although at least mine was genuine.

The Forbidden City is the area of Beijing where the emporers, their concubines and their eunachs (interesting combination) used to live. It is basically a series of impressive, if austere, buildings that have been rebuilt on a about 5 occasions due to being made of wood. The Chinese do like smooking, fireworks, and inscense so I'm not surprised they burnt down to be honest. Rather than hire a guide we hired James Bond to show us round. Unfortunately it wasn't Sean Connery, or even Pierce Brosnan, but old 'eyebrow raiser' himself - Roger Moore (better than George Lazenby or Tim Dalton though I guess.....) As he's getting alittle old now we had to do with a tape recording but it was a fine accompanyment to the trip. The best bit was definitely when he described how one of the emporors 'ever-indulged' with the members of his harem and had a fatal heart-attack - I could see that eyebrow wiggling for all it's worth!! Met a nice Scottish guy and a couple of Aussies who, as expected, took the piss out of our inability to play any sport we've invented, I countered with my usual retort about ther Ashes - well at least you'l lnever get your hands on them, they're too fragile to travel...it always shuts 'em up for some reason.

On our way out of the Forbidden City we were accosted my a 50-something gent trying to get us on a trip to the Great Wall. After much haggling we agreed a price, but only if he threw in a couple of tombs too. Just under 30 quid for a full days excursion for tomorrow. We have chosen an area described by the lonely planet as 'a genuine wall experience' but also 'steep and crumbling'. should be fun. Following on from the Forbidden City we visited the Bell and Drum towers and had pretty good panoramic views of Bejing, unfortunately I wasn't allowed to play with the drums or the bells, spoilsports...

Dinner was after a couple of pints of Guiness (brewed in Malaysia bizarrely enough) in the most authentic Irish Bar this side of, er, Moscow. Hey it was so realistic there was even a drunk Irishman stood ordering whiskeys at the bar. We had pizza at a Belgian bar (?) before retiring for the evening.

So onto today which we hoped would surely be one of the highlights of our year - we were not to be let down. Despite our driver getting a parking ticket (for 20 quid meaning he'd make about a 10 quid loss on the day - oooops) he was resonably efficient although we arrived at the Wall via a couple of other places. One planned, one just utterly bizarre. The bizarre one was first - a kind of Madame Tussaud's (no we don't have wax fetishes) but this time there were loads of figures on display - none of them purporting to be real people either. There were about 15 exhibits depicting scenes from the last 800 years of Chinese history except none of them tallied up to the description. The big irony here, of course, is they looked more life-like than Uncle Ho earlier last week. It was also pretty bizarre to see a huge stuffed giraffe in one of them - probably slipped into the wrong exhibit - should have been at the nearby 'Noah's Ark' collection.

The Ming tomb was 'pleasant' enough, thank God they didn't see fit to display the remains at this mauseleum. He'd been dead 700 years. Then onward to the only man-made structure visible from space.

Richard Nixon sure was right (see previous post) although I will add more hyperbole by saying 'it is utterly amazing'!! Arriving at HuangHua we spent 2 hours climbing up 70 degree angles with no hand-rails, the best of it being we were the only tourists and even the postcard sellers left you alone to climb. It really is as it looks in all the pictures, in fact no, that's unfair, it is more spectacular, more scerene, yet it dominates the skyline and is incredibly demanding of those who choose to climb it. Thoroughly exhilerated we took tens of pictures before the hazardous descent and our trip back to the hotel. Just like visiting Angkor and the first time we had 30m visibility whilst diving it was a real defining moment on the trip for us and one that will live long in the memory.

This evening we were feeling pretty brave so we went for a Chinese in a Chinese. We had duck, pork, cabbage... in fact way too much for even me. The bill came to about 8 quid (hey I even asked for the bill in Mandarin and they understood me!!) and was as good as any Chinese food we've ever tasted. DELICIOUS!

We've had a few emails about this SARS thing so we thought it might be a good idea to contact our insurers to see what their take on it all is. We were mainly interested if they would pay out if we had to re-route if the government issued a health warning not to travel to Hong Kong or Gouangdong region (we fly back to here from Shanghai on 20/4 before flying out from HK the next day). The answer was a resounding 'no' and hey, if the government issue a travel warning and we decided to travel and we then require medical treatment they won't pay for that either. We are going to get to Zi'an and keep monitoring the situation but one of the things we are thinking about is cancelling our tickets from Shanghai and flying back to Chiang Mai from Xi'an to then go overland into southern Thailand. This would be a shame but if the government/foreign office does issue this warning we can't really risk going back. Also coupled with the fact that the Thai authorities are currently quarantining anyone with symptons from HK and making everyone from there wear masks (or face 6 months in jail - I kid you not!) we mayt have no options - I don't want to look like Michael Bloody Jackson.

Beijing, City of the 2008 Olympics, site of one of man's greatest achievements - The Great Wall, and home to, yet another, appalling British Airways Office. Another 2 1/2 hours to re-route - another charge (for doing nothing) and to top it off an additional 15 quid each just for the priviledge of being in China - welcome to the Communist (read Capitalist) state of China...anyhoo have written to BA about their appalling inconsistent customer service and should get some sort of response so will keep you informed.

RANT OVER. OK, well it's snowing here and it must be just about 0 degrees - a bit of a change from Hong Kong. We have booked our tickets onwards to Thailand (see above) and managed to get a really good deal on a flight to Krabi (worth noting we were in the Thai Airways office for less than 10 minutes) at under 40 UKP - the train is over 20 UKP and takes 15 hours...so we'll be back on the beach on 22nd April (we don't arrive until 6pm on 21st...) and should be diving by...oooh...the 23rd...

Last night we went for Peking Duck in, erm, Peking (Beijing's old name) and it was lovely, although very fatty. It tasted just like it does at a Chinese back home ;) although the Hoi Sin sauce was a bit dodgy and there was no cucumber...there are so many fantastic looking restaurants here but so few have English menu I will probably end up with one of the local delicacies (stir-fried tripe with kidney and heart...) or some meat that I really shouldn't eat...cat/dog etc...we're going to try one tonight especially as I now officially speak the lingo...

Tried my linguistic skills out on a taxi driver today and we nearly got to our destination before his engine blew up (quite spectacularly) and we had to push him...at least he didn't charge us. I must have been particularly good in the next one as the bloke started chatting to me as if I spoke the language...I just shrugged my shoulders, laughed, said, 'over there' and we arrived home safely...

Still got to book our tour to the Great Wall, which we will try to do tomorrow. We're hiring a couple of bikes tomorrow to go around the Forbidden City and to find a bloody tour company!! One thing that is interesting is that the Chinese Government just shut internet cafes (over 6000 were closed last year) and all the ones listed in the Lonely Planet are now not there (they've disappeared just like that bloke in 1989 - I'm writing this from the hotel). There is only one left in the whole of Beijing apparently (although we find this a little unlikely) and it is, I kid you not, in a gay bar! Maybe they don't think the gay community has it in them to revolt??!! Crazy crazy place - yet again you couldn't make it up... The Government also bans sites of a political nature so although we can edit our blog we can't view it...must have been my criticism of the NHS earlier this year - sorry Tony. We also can't view BBC news websites either and the press here is unbelieveably controlled - despite SARS fever (sorry poor pun) in Hong Kong (500+ cases now?) it wasn't even mentioned in the Chinese dailies...

Oh well, better sign off as it's pricey here; thinking about the placard tonight but don't fancy getting incarcerated/shot/squashed by a tank - if you read this please think twice about travelling on the one world ticket - it is truely awful and nowhere near as easy and flexible as they make out when you book it.

BA - the ball is in your court and we await your reply...