OK well if you'd told me 2 months ago I'd play Jenga and Connect 4 (and lose) at some point this year I'd have believed you. But if you'd told me we would have played said games with three 'ladies of the night', in a brothel....hey but first things first I'll come back to that story later (now I've got your attention...)

Finally we have a plan - we went to the floating market today, and are off to Kanchanaburi tomorrow to see the Bridge Over the River Kwai (which isn't actually over the River Kwai) and to see a bit of the countryside. It is meant to be idyllic. We have also booked our ticket out of Thailand (our Visas run out on Monday anyway) - we are flying to Vientiane (capital of Laos) on Monday with Thai Airways. The best news is that they've got a promotion on at the moment so if you book 1 business class seat you get one free so we have and it was about 20 quid more expensive than economy - BARGAIN!!!

Back to the floating market, and time for a guest write for her description - 'ladeez and gentlemennnnn I give you Dr. Jennifer Cornwell':

Well, I had been looking forwad to this trip since arriving in Bangkok, we got up early 6am for this trip. We were in a mini bus of no english speakers, hence no flowing conversation. The first stop was a demonstartion on how to make sugar from coconut flowers and buy expensive tacky tourist souvenirs. Onward, we arrived at the Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, to be greeted by Longtail boats, hundreds of tourists shipped in by coach for a tour of the canals. we did get a slight insight of local life, washing, cleaning clothes and pots in the river. we then arrived at the "floating market" to be faced with paying a further 200B each for a paddle boat around the market. This annoyed us as we had paid to see the floating market, but yet again the Thais take you for every penny they can get. After negotiating separately from our group we had a boat to ourselves for 200B. This involved a trip up and down the canals being taken to various stalls to buy some more expensive souvenir tat. At this point we asked if we could go to other ares to see life without a thousand tourists and found out that there is no such area. The whole market is put on for tourist (we need a up to date Thailand lonely planet), we also met a couple on their honeymoon repeatedly throughout the day who were also disillusioned. The highlight was some freshly made noodle soup from a boat and the buying of a model tuk-tuk (that even moves of it's own accord when you pull it backwards - Dan).

Next we were taken to a cobra show where surprise surprise we had to pay more money to see a cobra fight with a man, and other creatures - we declined and had an ice cream instead. After this it was to a wood carving demonstration where you could buy carvings for 10 times the price from elsewhere in Thailand.

After feeling suitably fleeced we have vowed never to go on an organised trip again - it is bad enough paying FARANG prices for everything. On the way back to Bangkok our driver had a massive disagreement on his mobile and we had to swap buses. The trip around Bangkok took forever and after 40mins we were no where near reaching our hotel so we did what we should have done all along and made our own way back.

It has made me want to leave Thailand I am fed up of being fleeced.

Strong words indeed but hey it was THAT BAD....

Anyhoo, back to those women of ill repute. Last night we went back to Patpong, principally to hunt for cushion covers for Jen and Gameboy games for me. We managed to find a bar with a decent pool table (Jen briefly held the title of Cornwell family pool champion but not for long (although as a footnote she has vowed to win back this coveted award this evening...)) and spent a really nice couple of hours chatting, playing pool, and generally having a good time. Incidentally the music was also excellent AND the bar sold alcopops so Jen was in pre-mixed heaven! After being bitten (by mosquitoes) for the umpteenth time Jen has switched to Tiger Balm to a) deter them - it works! and b) help take the edge off the bites. At some point before the pool hall we'd lost her pot of said lotion and she wondered off to buy another one. On her return (I was by this stage taking the locals (well an English bloke, an Israeli and a Thai national, but all whom seemed to be well known in the bar) on in a kind of mini-tournament (won 1 lost 1)) she exclaimed (very excitedly) there's a bar up the road (near the pharmacy) with a live band and they sound really good. Now, given that neither myself nor my wife could be described as musically talented I was not 100% sure of her ability to judge whether a band was good or not (especially after a couple of bacardi breezers) but I thought what the hell and off we trotted to said bar. Now there was a band, yup, and they were, to be fair, pretty good. What we didn't realise (until we sat down) was that it was a kind of bar/club/brothel. We, obviously, decided to befriend the ladies and to while to minutes away they brought out (it's only when writing this now I realise how bizarre this actually sounds) a set of connect four and a jenga tower. We proceeded to play with them, and although I got stuffed, Jen came out on top (quick fetch the innuendo police...)

We gave them a tip (I said NO MORE...) and left - hopeful that they had enjoyed an hours distractions from all the sweaty fat Germans in the bar...

We have now got to sort out our accommodation for tomorrow and thus I'd better go do some research...

Probably no internet in Kanchanaburi and almost certainly none/limited availability in Laos so this may be the last update for a while - either way keep checking and keep them emails flowing.

Today was our Thai Cookery course and we have just finished it. Was great fun, the 'teachers' were all excellent and spoke superb English interspersed with sporadic mad humour. We cooked:
Clear Soup with Minced Pork (the celery stuff in it was horrid though...)
Spring rolls - FANTASTIC
Red curry with duck - not that great, also Jen's looked like an albino curry as she didn't use much paste to avoid it being spicy...it was kinda grey in colour.
Chicken with ginger - both of our favourites, utterly wonderful
Chicken in pandanus leaves - think Thai KFC, kind of TFC I guess
Mango with sticky rice - much nicer than I thought it would be. We then tried a few exotic fruits and were on our way. I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone who has the remotest interest in food or cooking if you're ever out here - we went to 'The Chiang Mai Thai Cookery School' which is the oldest and must surely be one of the best here. I think we paid 900B (about 15UKP) each. BARGAIN!
We also met a Canadian woman who had been diving in the Similan Islands and she recommended us an operator there who will do a 2-day excursion and 7 (!) dives for about 120 UKP. The visibility is apparently about 30m+ at the moment and she said it was wonderful so it's now on our list...

We leave Chiang Mai tomorrow, after alot of toing and froing and changing our minds about where to enter Laos we have decided to go back to Bangkok to see the floating markets and see the bridge over the river Kwai before either flying to Vientiane or going up via the friendship bridge. We didn't fancy either 2 days on a slowboat (read barge) or 6 hours on a speedboat (already been 2 people killed this year on them when the boat hit some rocks and the water levels are very low at the moment...)...

We should still be on plan for Laos on 28 Feb and Vietnam on 11 March. Our method of choice is once again employed and we are going to Bangkok by overnight train...

OK here are some pictures - we've finally managed to get them saved ready for upload so here goes...these go back a little bit. First up we have Dan on our beach where we stayed in Koh Tao and a picture of Vanessa and Jen in Koh Samui...



After these we get some from the trekking...us on a bridge and in the jungle...



Just proving we didn't have a shower, Jen getting her hair washed (!) and all of us sat round a campfire on the first night.



And finally - us rafting, and an elephant picture Jen took - perfect timing I think you call it - this one's for you Mum!



More pictures in a month or so...

(Ok then - here goes - mammoth blog entry ahoy. I had already written 30 mins worth when my last PC I was writing on crashed so here goes with this one. If this one goes down it will be ceremonially thrown out of the window.

Well where to start - we arrived back last night from 3 days in the wilderness (quite literally) and were too shattered to write anything last night - that's how goddam' knackered we were...maybe in training for Laos we had a few days away from the internet - more of that later...

Anyway firstly it's nice to be back in the land of the living - you don't appreciate just how much you miss a shower, a bed and a toilet. Well it's not like they didn't have all of those but they were a hosepipe, a mat, and a hole respectively. Secondly although all we saw was a very small potted account of hill-tribes and how they live it was a fascinating experience. Thirdly, I took a whole host of notes so I am about to bore you all to tears...

After arriving at Buddy's tours to find about 30 other people we soon found out that only about half of these hardy (for that read utterly mad) had decided to go on the 3 day/2 night trek - the other less hardy (sensible) were doing one or 2 dayers - ah-ha we thought you wimps...Of the 15 left there were 10 20-something Aussies, all 6-packs and 6 brain cells with identikit travelling companions. Fortunately they were all packed onto a different songthaew (truck with benches - see Koh Chang below) whilst we were joined by Nicolas (business analyst living in Hong Kong - 25 years old) and his parents - Elisabeth and Robert, all from France. Fortunately Nic's English was alot better than my French so he acted as interpreter most of the time although Elisabeth's English was much better than she thought and my French was not too bad given I haven't done any since GCSE 11 years ago (for which unbeliebvably I got an 'A' - thanks Mrs Bowyer!). The first stop was the local market where we were suupposed to help the guides pick something for tea. Unsurprisingly with us all being useless westerners (well me Jen and the Aussies) we didn't venture further than the local 7-11 as the guides went and bought an interesting array of beansprouts, cabbage and a white thing that looked like a cross between a radish and a turnip. No idea what that was...

So onto the waterfall where we had a fried rice lunch. The Aussies (all of them brimful of testosterone...) went for a swim/lark about/attempt to climb up waterfall...we went for a paddle...

We were then off to the first village - Shan tribe - all of us not knowing what to expect - Voodoo rituals? (Yes I know wrong continent - we'll save that for later in the year...), The boiling of innocent travellers in a large pot? Women with long necks and no teeth?

None of the above, what we found was a smartly built village with electricity and villagers with big Isuzu trucks. There were phone lines and everyone was wearing western clothes. Very authentic? It turns out this first village had received alot of money from the king and hence the relative oppulance. They had many many fields of crops and flowers and it all looked incredibly ordered. Very impressive, but were they retaining any of their traditions or just getting swallowed up into increasingly financially motivated Thailand, or just making the best of their situation - can you blame them.... Either way it was a pleasant strole through their grounds and onto the first hill-tribe village. It took about 3 hours for us to arrive at the Karen village and the first thing we were greeted with was hoards of children (all wearing western clothes) trying to sell us beads for 10B (about 13p). I eventually gave in and bought Jen a necklace. I didn't have 10B so gave the child 20B and told him to keep the change. The look on his face alone was worth the whole trip. He proceded to run the length of the village (admittedly only about 100 yards) presumably to tell his Mum & Dad how much money he'd made. Even Jen thought he was cute!!! With the rest of the kids undevided attention we then played with them for 30 mins or so - swinging them round, having play fights etc...it was only when Elisabeth commented how good I was with children I realised it was time to stop....

Tea was amazing - we had our tour guide (Yutu) and his friend (an un-named girl, well I'm sure she had a name it's just that we didn't catch it...) to thank for egg-plant spicy soup, followed by Tom Yam (with sardines - YUCK, although I did down a mouthful to show willing...), a kind of beansprouts and chicken stir-fry, mixed veg, and rice. I can honestly say I have had worse food in numerous chinese restaurants back home, and considering it was cooked over a wood stove and prepared in a hut with few utensils - outstanding!!

When they told us it would get cold we didn't really believe them and as we struggled into our sleeping bags on the cold floor (well a mat on a floor) we covered ourselves with a couple of blankets for good measure. But boy did it get cold...I felt like I remember feeling when camping as a kid when you wake up and your nose feels like a block of ice...I was keeping in touch with the scores, via SMS, from Cambridge's biggest match of the season too (we lost - 4-2 but at 4.01 a.m. we were 2-1 up and I was elated...), so I reckon I got about 30 mins kip max! That said we were up and about by 8.30 and had a breakfast of banana pancake and jam before going to the school where we presented the kids with 2 biscuits each - you should have seen their faces...

One thing of note was that in a village of 30 families (about 200 people) there were 2 churches - 1 protestant, 1 Roman Catholic and the villages were split about 60% protestant, 30% catholic, and 10% buddhist. Not sure why this is...was it because the Roman Catholic missionaries are all men and can't marry thus enabling the protestants to double team the villagers with a husband/wife combo??? Why were the buddhists lagging...? No idea.

Now two 2 and 1/2 hour treks in 35 degree+ heat is no fun, especially if you're as unfit as me, or have a wonky knee, like Jen. However after another stop at a waterfall (our guide & those crazy Aussies decided to jump off a load of rocks into it this time - nutters!) and nursing a couple of blisters (Dan not Jen) we arrived at the second camp. We stayed at the home of a local celebrity who played a guitar like instrument and was very famous in the tribe apparently. We got to meet his mum, his (very) moody wife and his 3 kids - the youngest of which was just 3 and full of smiles. He explained in his best (very) broken English that the tree that shaded us was as old as he was and was his tree. He was 45 and there wasn't an ounce of fat on him. He smoked banana leaves constantly whereas moody-arse (his wife) smoked something decidedly dodgy-looking from a pipe...One highlight was choosing our own tea. We chose a chicken that was then killed, plucked and BBQ'd for us - amazing (!) - it was definitely the freshest we'll ever eat...(even better than KFC - never thought I'd write that...)

Before leaving I gave him our roll of duct tape and he duly went round repairing his hospipe and was absolutely chuffed to bits. It was like he'd got a new one, if we'd known we'd have brought 10 rolls - they really were that kind to us.

We left them at about 10am for our final day. Our guide decided to start us off gently with an uphill kilometre whilst almost running up it. I thought Jen was going to cry/hit me/hit him so I persuaded him to slow down a little and eventually we made it to lunch (where, feeling manly, I made Jen some chopsticks from bamboo which she promptly dropped into the water below...(after some nasty creature (not me) jumped on her)) and the rafting which was great fun. It was interesting that the chap who came to meet us was wearing an authentic tribal costume complete with Manchester United logo - I kid you not!!! He had even heard of David Beckham...

At the rafting we had a great time splashing the French who were on another raft and got thoroughly drenched - it was a really relaxing end to a frenetic 3 days. Only the elephant trek to go which was fairly uneventful (despite our guide getting off halfway through and leaving the elephant to roam...)and then the hour long songthaew back...we let the French use our hotel shower as they were off on a night train to Bangkok and then some other place. They were great companions and we will definitrely keep in touch. We are going to Hong Kong to meet with Nicolas and hopefully go to the Rugby Sevens at the end of March (YAY YAY YAY!!!).

Last night was eventful - we went to a restaurant (The Good View) that basically treated us like the 'farang' that of course we are. No drinks for 20 mins, despite all the Thais getting theirs within 2, starters arriving after main course, not getting what we'd asked for. So we got up and paid for the 2 dishes we had started eating and left. Very disappointing but we managed to find our way to McDonalds OK...before Jen suggested we go to what is turning our to be our local - the Chiang Mai saloon...after a massive burger, chips, wedges, wings, ribs et al we were well and truely stuffed and had had one of the best meals I can ever remember having but then I was nearly delerious with hunger...We met a nice NZ couple on their honeymoon before Jen's knee, mossie bites and our all-round tiredness caught up with us and we went off to bed...

Other things to note are few and far between...

My ear seems to have sorted itself out (thanks to those bloody horse-pills) and indeed I haven't had any problems with it for a couple of days now - fingers crossed.
Jen has got more bites than a computer (despite using tiger balm, DEET, covering up, chasing the buggers round the room at 3am etc...)
We're not going to Pai anymore cos we can't be bothered at the mo and there is still more to do here - cookery course on Monday for one. We are also going to Doi Suthep which is meant to be an amazing vantage point to see Chiang Mai from. I think the plan is also to have a couple of massages tomorrow!
We are then going to head to Laos where there is no internet access (oh noooooooooo!!) and then onto Vietnam for 11/3 when our Visas start. We are now planning to fly to Hong Kong at the end of March to meet with Nicolas (and his girlfriend) and then get a Chinese visa there where it is pretty easy by all accounts. We will do China in 2-3 weeks hopefully taking in the major tourist attractions before heading back to Bangkok, the floating market I promised Jen...(it's not like we haven't been to enough markets or anything though - even she'll admit that...) and the bridge over the river Kwai. We should then have time for diving before hitting Aus somewhat earlier than planned sometime in May...

We have got some photos for you but for the moment and for some reason we can't upload them from this PC so we'll do that next time (hopefully tomorrow) in the mean time we have had a catch up day so some of you may have received emails, please keep them coming back to us!

Quite a few things to update with. Firstly, thanks to Thelma and John and my Mum for giving us some ideas for where to eat etc...we ate at The Riverside last night (which has over 250 dishes on it's menu). We had a starter and a main and it came to under a fiver - BARGAIN!! It was lovely too, with a view over the River (duh) and most of the hustle and bustle of CM.

The craft markets in the morning were a bit disappointing...in all honesty they were huge shops/showrooms with a little explanation area tagged onto the front. We got looked at in quite a bad way because we bought nothing! After a couple of hours of boredom we went back to the hotel and had a good few hours kip before venturing to the Sunday craft market. Now this was not like any craft market I had been to. For a start it was broadcast live on Thai TV (Channel 11 - they only have odd numbered channels, 3, 5, 7,9, and 11 - no even - how strange!), involved lots of dancing shows (not the sort you find in Bangkok - more traditional Thai dancing, and this time it was definitely women not men...) and was spread over a road about a mile long. Oh no - this was not market square in Ely on a Saturday...

Anyway we had a really enjoyable couple of hours (and no Jen isn't twisting my arm for me to say this I genuinely enjoyed it...) walking through the stalls and eating local Thai snacks (egg and sweetcorn pancake which bizarrely enough they tried to pour conendsed milk and sugar over - I declined..., and Jen had some kind of shallots/nuts parcel thingy) before getting to the river area for tea. Chiang Mai is so different to the constant hustle, noise and smell (!) of Bangkok, the people too, are genuienely friendly, and do their negotiating with a warm smile. In Bangkok generally they see you as 'farang' and just see the pound (or should that be Baht) signs. We have yet to find anything we don't like about the place...I have even agreed to go to the night bazzar tonight (poor deluded fool) she must have caught me on an off moment.

In other news, ear deteriorated overnight from being nearly OK again to being as bad as it was this time last week. We dfecided this morning to go to a doctor again as the deterioration seemed to coincide with the end of my course of pseudoephedrine. We went to one hospital (the Macormick) but they didn't have a specialist on so we jumped on a songthaew and went to the most modern one in CM - Ram hospital. Again, in and out in under an hour and this time he's upped my dosage of p-eph and also put me on steroids...(insert your own joke here...) The whole thing cost 354B - about a fiver.
For 2 prescriptions drugs.
Seen in under an hour.
By an ENT specialist.
In Thailand.
He said the good news was that the blood had cleared up around the ear drum and all that was left was some fluid behind the ear drum adn that should sort itself out in a week or so (fingers crossed). He also said he didn't see any permanent damage and that after a week of no problems (hopefully 2 weeks) I can dive or fly!! YAY!!

That's about all to report - one noticeable thing is that I have read more (fiction) books in the last 5 weeks than I have in the previous 5 years (about 10 and counting...). One author I can thoroughly recommend is a chap called Carl Hiassen - he's American but has a great sense of irony...I have just finished a book called 'Sick Puppy' and it is the best book I have read for a long time (along with Michael Moore's 'Stupid White Men'.

Jen is still devouring her book every other day - the usual, kinda murder/forensic stuff...We're off on our trek tomorrow so will check email probably before we go tonight and in 3/4 days.

OK then - we've booked the following on what should be a fun packed 10 days or so.

Tomorrow we're off to a craft-market, and despite trying so hard to avoid one (I had managed 4 1/2 weeks) Jen has finally won and thus we're going to spend a half day or so wandering around some touristy hill-tribe combo markets.

Tomorrow night (how's this for a double whammy) she's dragging me around the night bazzar...what have I done to deserve this? In all seriousness I am saving my brownie points up for when I want to do things!!

Then Monday is a day off to chill out and explore Chiang Mai, we had a good walk round earlier and it's just so relaxed and tranquil after Bangkok and the islands. The tuk-tuk drivers don't even pester you here!

Tuesday we are starting what should be great fun - a 3 day/2 night trek that takes in about 9 hours walking (more than I've done in the past 5 years put together) about 5 waterfalls, 3 hill-tribes, white water rafting and elephant riding...should be a laugh. We should also meet some other 'travellers' as it is an English speaking tour guide and there is usually 10 in the party.

After this (Friday) we're venturing closer to the Myanmar (Burma) border by going to Pai where we may do some more trekking although we've been warned that it is more touristy than here. We should arrive back in Chiang Mai on Sunday ready for our cookery course on Monday. We have opted for the following course:
Vegetable carving (no turnip jokes please Baldrick)
Red chicken curry
Spring rolls
Clear pork soup
Chicken in andaman leaves
Mango and sticky rice
Banana frittery things (that's their technical name)

We had to wait a while to do this course but it's the best one on offer and hopefully it'll mean we can poison you all upon our return.

That's about it...by the way it's 7.15 and still no sign of them monks - perhaps they're down the pub watching Man U Vs Arsenal...now there's an idea.....

Right, so after two absolutely soul-destroying, bone-shaking, teeth-clenching (and that's in first class...) train journeys we've arrived in Chiang Mai. First impressions are of a much quieter, more civilised and less polluted city than Bangkok. Having said that we've just spent the last 4 hours catching up on some shut-eye...

We have decided whilst here we definitely are going to do the following:
Cookery course
Trekking somewhere to see some of the hill-tribes
Visit Chiang Rai and Pai (as in 'who ate all the...')
Watch the Monk parade tonight (1,000 young boys become manks here tonight apparently and there's a big party...kind of ironic really because they can't drink, smoke, eat, talk etc...it could be the dullest quietist party I've ever been to...)

We're then planning to go south-eastish and hit Laos by the Friendship Bridge and enter from the south. There were a couple of nasty incidents involving bandits in north-eastern Laos last week (attacking both locals and tourists...) so we're going to try to avoid going through this area. We can also get our visas in Khong Kaen as there is no Lao consulate in Chiang Mai (we thought there was for some reason...). Couple of weeks in Laos (no internet access in the whole country...how will I cope??) and then into Vietnam - our visas start there on 11/3.

Guest house we're staying in is lovely, swimming pool, air-con and a telly (with ESPN and BBC World - yay!) all for 590B (about 8 quid!!).

Quick update...we've booked the following tickets and are getting out of Koh Samui asap. Koh Samui, for those who haven't been here is a bit like a cross between a Greek Island and Bangkok - ie very built up, commercial, full of package tourists, but if you stray from the main areas some delightful restaurants etc...that said we're done with beaches for the time being hence moving on v quickly. We have booked a ferry tomorrow to take us to the mainland (13.30) then onto the train station in Surat Thani where we jump on an overnight train (this may become a recurring theme in the following weeks and months) to Bangkok - arriving at 8.30ish. Then we kind of mill around in BKK for a few hours (in a moment of weakness earlier I agreed to go to the weekend market - arghhhhhhhh!) until we jump back on another (overnight) train north to Chiang Mai - arriving at about 6.20 on Saturday. As ever Daniel the romantic has made sure that on the most romantic day in the calendar we are on an overnight train. For those of you who remember we spent our wedding anniversary last year on an overnight ferry...is there no end to my romantic talents??

We are also going to be bidding farewell to Vanessa who we've been with for about 10 days. She's off back to BKK and then onto Vietnam. I am sure we will meet up in Aus.

By the way I did indeed 'lose' at golf, no change there then. I was of course handicapped by my ear and lack of balance, so with, say, a two shot handicap I won by a shot...

As soon as the fun started it has been brought to an abrupt end. Having experienced no hearing in my left ear for a couple of days I decided (or rather Jen persuaded me) to go to the doctors to get it checked out as the ear drops we'd bought were having no effect. I also got a bit of blood in my mask on every dive so was a little nervous...although the instructors did say providing I had no pain there was nothing to worry about. Well to cut a long story short my left ear's in a bit of a mess, blood everywhere and the skin around the ear drum is not in a good state. The bottom line is: no flying for 4 weeks, no diving for 8-12. GUTTED! We'd just found something we really enjoyed and now we can't partake, possibly for good. I have got some medication which will hopefully help to clear it up but if it gets painful I have to go back and get it lanced...fun fun fun...

Incidentally we arrived at A & E at 9.10am, blood pressure and weight were taken on the spot, and I was seen, out, and given prescribed drugs (2 different drugs - one for decongestion, and the other sort of nose drops) by 9.40. Are you reading Mr Blair?? The total charge was 890 B - c. 12.50 quid, the cost of 2 prescriptions back home. On an Island, in a country where the average GDP is under 1,500 GBP. Hmmmmmmmmmm I suppose you could therefore say 12.50 GPB is alot of money here then and they only cater for tourists but they do do special rates for locals... at least we're not paying any tax for 12 months!!

So what now? Looks like 24 hours on a train after 2 hours on a boat - no 1st class (private compartment) tickets left so it'll be stinky 2nd air-con or fan (whatever's left) all the way...boy we'rte going to need a shower by the end of that!

Better news is that our parcel has finally cleared customs and Lynn has some brand new cream cushion covers...we're still looking for the terracotta ones...

I think we're off to play pitch and putt today where I will get my arse well and truely spanked by my wife as usual.

And then there were three...we said a tearful (only kidding) goodbye to our American travel buddy (Mike) this morning - he's staying on in Koh Tao to do his advanced diving before going to the full moon party on Koh Pha-Ngan, and then onto Samui/North Thailand. We are pretty certain to meet up with him again at some point.

As per previous edit we've completed our advanced course - thanks James for the tip about doing it pretty much straight away. It does open up a whole new world for you...the deep dive meant we got down to 30m (c.100 feet for all you imperialists...) and saw literally hundreds more fish and a myriad of different colours. The navigation dive meant we could navigate (d'uh) with a compass underwater and then the multi-level section gave us the info on how to do dives of differing levels and for how long for to minimise nitrogen narcosis (which incidently we were told we would get a mild form of at 30m but neither of us did...)

The result of all this was that we were able to plan, navigate and execute our own dive with just the two of us whilst the instructor stayed on the boat. This we did starting at 20m beofre 25 mins or so at 12m. We even successfully navigated back to the pinnacle from the cave area and back to the boat!! It was really useful to do this and our instructor (Claes from Copenhagen - who incidentally was excellent) was really chuffed for us when we got back to the boat without getting lost. I've even got the hang of breathing (!) and we managed a 50 min dive - our longest yet. We even did a free descent to 20m and a free (not holding onto anything) 5m safety stop...of course this'll mean nothing to you non-divers but James'll know what I'm on about...

Last night we went to a superb Mexican and ate and drank as a kind of farewell meal. The girls went back early(ish) and myself and Mike stayed behind to watch the end of the basketball and have another beer. One of the best things about Mike is that although he is American he understands irony and he hates basketball!!!

We endured a nerve-wracking 2 hours or so on a catamoran this morning, I think the driver (captain/pilot/boatswain?) thought he was in some sort of powerboat race as we were buffeted all over the shop...to make matters worse we had to endure some godawful dirge with Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins in it, some music by The Eagles, and Thai Karaoke...at least the air-con worked.

So, onto Ko Samui, both our ears are still coming to from the diving so we can't fly for a day or two but we are going to go north - up to Chiang Mai within the week as we've had our fill of diving for now...not alot else to report...Vanessa will be with us for a few more days before she herself goes onto Bangkok and Vietnam.

OK so the course is over and we're now advanced divers. Yesterday we did our deep and multi-level dives both of which were excellent. The deep dive was amazing as we went down to 30 metres and saw schools of barracuda and other huge fish. I will write a full account from Ko Samui which is our next stop. (The internet here is sooooooooooooooo slow.....)

OK - where do we start. Started our advanced course this morning and now, 3 exhausting dives later, we are almost too tired to type...

We did our Navigation, Bouyancy and night dive today. The first two were really extensions of what we've done before but the night dive was totally different. I enjoyed it but Jen was indifferent, although seeing rays in their natural environment by torchlight is something else.

We are hiring a camera tomorrow so should get lots of piccies...and by this time tomorrow we'll be advanced divers!!!

Other news - not alot really, Cambridge won 5-0 which I received by text message - always a bonus at midnight...we've also booked our tickets for the ferry to Koh Samui. Vanessa is coming with us for the time being but we're leaving Mike here so he can get his advanced finished. We have also booked this hotelhref="http://laguna-beach.com"> for 13-15 Feb which is where we stayed 18 months ago. Trust me after 3 dives a day and no hot showers (and you also have to 'sluice' some of the toilets...) 'we're ready for a bit of luxury' (Jen dictated that line word for word!!!)

OK - we've landed in Koh Tao and are staying at Ban's Diving Resort - this is supposedly one of the biggest and best in Koh Tao. We've signed up to do our Advanced Open Water course - this consists of 5 dives, 2 of which must be deep diving (to 30m) and navigation (kind of like underwater orienteering). We will probably do additional dives in photography and possibly naturalism (not naturism!!). We are not sure of the 5th - they are trying to persuade us to do a night dive as our instructor says there's loads of planckton and there will probably be a whale shark or 2 about...

Weather is hot hot hot, the girls are currently sunning themselves whilst the boys are hiding in air-conned rooms...we're so lame (as Mike would say...)

We're going to be here for at least 4 days (Jen's got a bit of a cold and you can't dive with a cold so we're starting our course on Sunday not Saturday) and after the course we're going to do a day of fun diving (Tuesday). The plan after that is a bit vague but I think as it's only about 20 quid to fly to Phuket we think that's where we'll end up next and we'll dive at Phi-Phi (where 'The Beach' with Leo DiCap was filmed...) and probably stay somewhere nice (hey it's nearly Valentine's day and I'm still a romantic at heart...) before flying up to Chiang Mai. In CM we're going to do a cookery course so we can poison you all upon our return.

Not alot else to report...internet access is pricey here so we're only going to post something else as and when it happens/on Monday.

Right - very quick update. Off to Koh Tao tonight via overnight train - should be a laugh...the 4 of us are all booked into one compartment which has 4 berths men on bottom bunks - women on top (as it were...)

Weve finally agreed to stay at Ban's Diving Resort - which we've been told is excellent. Mike is definitely doing his course - we are not sure what we're going to do yet - definitely chill out a bit though after Bangkok...

Apparently there's not alot of internet access on the island so we'll probably not have much by means of an update for a few days - feel free to keep the emails flowing though as we'll reply on our return to the mainland. The current plan is to try to get to Ko Samui and then fly up to Chiang Mai in about a week or so before venturing into Laos.

I am sure this'll change fairly soon as we're not sure if we can indeed get direct flights to CM from KS.

Thai boxing was good fun - the place was packed and we sat with the locals (and a few Brits/Germans) who kept doing this bizarre betting hand-waving thing...OK you had to be there...

Route has been decided...we're staying in BKK for another night tonight before getting a train tomorrow (either very early or overnight tomorrow night) down to Chumphon where we will be getting a ferry to Koh Tao to do some chilling and diving. They have got an office in BKK so we're off there after the train station to book something. As mike is going to do his OW course we should be able to get good accomodation etc...

From there no idea really - brobably will then fly up to Chiang Mai from Koh Samui in about a week or so before venturing into Laos. Then back through Laos into North-East Thailand before flying to Vietnam.

Not alot else to report...getting bored of Bangkok though...

Still not decided route - but off to Thai Boxing tonight - will let you know how we get on...

Time for an update methinks...well what is there to write. Yesterday morning we hooked up with Mike (Brown) - an American guy myself Jen and Pat met in Scandanavia last year. We spent most of the morning chewing the cud before venturing out at about midday.

We thought we would initiate him in all thinks Thai by going to Chinatown (he won't get the irony, he's American) and we duly strolled around for a few hours and had our first taste of 'street food' We opted for steamed corn on the cob (10 baht - c.13p) and a kind of chicken in batter fried thing with hot spicy sauce (no challenging them on this description - it was, on both accounts...). Both were nice and Jen, now showing a real penchant for spicy food wolfed hers down with impressive vigour! Following a short stop at the home of my favourite happy 'ex-officer' , where the sprite tasted like TCP/bleach (presumably it has so little taste when you use the detergent over here it overpowers it?) we got back for about 5.30.

We went to pick up our laundry, that had (seemingly) not been laudered, although they were adamant we had to pay, and that it was 'the Cambodian Soil' that wouldn't come out of our clothes...of course it was. Except this theory doesn't really hold as we got clothes laundered twice in Cambodia...ho hum...they were not backing down and refused our request to re-wash everything...we decided discretion was the better part of valour (I knew some of the stock phrases my parents/school taught me as a child would come in handy some time...) and paid up and ventured out for a night at the night market (d'uh!)

By this time our group of three had become four with the addition of Vanessa - a 21 year old from Aus on her first trip to Thailand. Although she was tired we thought what she needed was a couple of beers and some really bad food at an 'Irish Bar'. Well we hadn't planned that when we set out but that was where we ended up. The highlight of the night (once you've seen Patpong once it really isn't a highlight - trust me...) other than haggling over some cushion covers (got you a fair price Lynn) was sitting in said 'Irish Bar' listening to a Thai crooner who thought he was Robbie Williams. 'Angels' was, of course, a particular highlight. I don't think I'd have laughed more if Peter Kay was sat next to me talking querying our menu choices (Garlic bread...bread...with garlic on it...?). (Incidentally very few people will get that last reference unless you've seen 'Peter Kay live at the Top of the Tower'. To be honest most of you won't have heard of him anyway - just take it from me he's a very funny Northern comedian...)

Well this morning Vanessa (who didn't feel very well last night after said garlic bread) and Mike have gone to explore the Grand Palace - we were going to go to Wat Pho - the reclining Buddha - as last time we came it was surrounded by scaffolding...but guess what...despite being told otherwise, Vanessa went yesterday and it still is...must have employed British builders...

As to what we're doing next we're not really sure...Mike has got to be on Ko Samui (southern island) for 14th Feb and wants to go south - Vanessa on the other hand wants to travel north to Chiang Mai so I am not sure how long we will be a group of 4. I imagine the 3 of us will go south and dive for a week or so (us to do our advanced course - Mike to do his open water course (the one we just did)) whilst Vanessa will end up living with a hill tribe or something...

Have sorted (I think) the packages back to the UK via DHL...again, at risk of sounding repetitive, a big big thanks to Neil for this. Lynn - your cushion covers our on their way...I'm afraid they didn't have terracotta though, only cream, well more of an off-white - in fact terracotta was about the only colour they didn't have - have I just spotted a niche in the market?? No, probably not.

We are going to explore another part of town tonight and will be finalising travel plans...Jen wants to go to the floating market and Mike to the Bridge over the River Kwai which are both kinda en route so I think that's what we'll be doing until the weekend. I think we'll probably get to dive on Sat/Sun, and to be honest we are both itching to get in the water again.

Just a couple of medical bits and bobs - Jen's been bitten to shreds in the night (by mosquitos (!)) and is having to take anti-histhamines and my Moto burn seems to have healed itself pretty well despite the blister bursting rather spectacularly yesterday. Blimey - too much detail - you'd never guess we've got virtually a whole day to kill waiting for DHL...

Our dog is well according to Jen's family but his back-end is growing faster than his front so he is a bit wonky. The cats are learning to accept each other and the 'Cornish Turf War of 2003' appears to be over, or at least there seems to be some sort of fragile ceasefire (Itchy and Scratchy were seen handing in their claw-sharpeners in a sort of cat weapon anmesty). We are both still missing all the animals like mad, but apart from that we are now well and truely into the swing of things and are loving it! Obviously missing family and friends too, but that goes without saying, and hey - you all keep emailing us which is great...note to Lynn, along with obedience training, please teach Oscar to email...

Right, time to sign off - I've rambled more than an old man with a stick lost in the peak district, so I'd better get back to this route planning.....

D & J

We are now back in Bangkok - the flight (on a jet - yay!!) lasted just 40 minutes, even I have to agree it was better than the 12 hour bus/car/truck/tuk-tuk/moto/tricycle/penny farthing combo. We are back in our old faithful guesthouse - Suk 11 and are in the process of sorting a parcel back to the UK - or maybe 2. Yup fleeces and thermals are going back along with other assorted crap.

After calling both sets of parents (and talking to my dog down the phone - that was surreal, talking to an animal (!!) 7,000 miles away whilst sitting in an internet cafe. Good job noone spoke English as they'd have thought I was mad...) we went out last night and stayed in our fave bar in Siem Reap (to eat and drink) and met an American (Greg) currently living just outside of Shanghai. He was a really good guy and we've arranged to meet him on our China leg in a couple of months.

One thing to note is that we have had a bit of feedback that we seem to spend all our times in bars - well we do but over here the only places you can get food is in the bars, and to be honest we invariably have a sprite/coke anyway...

Mike, our American friend, arrives late tonight so we are hoping to catch up with him at breakfast. We have done some more washing and even bought some more underwear in M & S in BKK!!!

The current plan for the next few weeks is undecided but I think we are going to head south to Southern Thailand and Malaysia for some decent diving, and better sun tan...after that we will probably fly from BKK to Ho Chi Minh City (what use to be Saigon - Vietnam) on or around 11/3 (that's when our Vietnam visa starts). We then figure we'll be in Vietnam around 2 weeks before heading up into China via the train (Chinese Visa still to get in Hanoi). After a month or so we'll then come back down via Gansu province (where Gazza is playing now... - we're going to watch him play and hopefully see him out and about on the town...not sure if there are any kebab houses though...) and overland into Laos and through Laos into Chiang Mai and Northern Thailand. We will then head down into Malaysia/Singapore but do the cities rather than the beaches. This should take us to about end of May/start of June by which time it'll be time to move on to Aus. This might be the time that Rachel, Jennifer's sister comes out to join us for a bit as she's got friends in that part of Asia.

When we hit Aus we're going to hook up with a guy we met from Middlesboro' who is planning to work in the top ski resort as a liftie or instructor and he says he'll get us some decent deals. We are also going to meet up with one of my ex-work colleagues in Sydney. My brother (Pat) will also be coming out to Aus or NZ at some point as well although he has got to be best man at a wedding on July 29th so we're not sure when yet. We're going to do all the normal Aus stuff - barrier reef, Uluru et al...and then hit NZ where we're going boarding again and meeting up with a family friend on the South Island (Christchurch). We will probably hire a car in NZ.

That's about as far as we can see at the moment, of course this may change tonight as we're sitting down with our faithful lonely planets and looking at alternative routes...

Hope you're enjoying the snow, I am kind of missing the English weather - it's much more humid here in BKK than Cambodia and it feels just like we're going to have one hell of a storm (although I don't think there's one forecast). We have got 3 nights here and will probably go to a couple of markets as they are still celebrating the Chinese New Year and there as some great sounding stalls (never thought I'd say that...)

Off to the bar...not really...off to get some water - it's so hot here!!!

D & J