Just as a follow-up to yesterday's post here are the piccies - most are the ones Jen and I took, the YMCA one is from Pat's site.

Me in Alice Springs (sporting new NSWRL State of Origin top) with a sign saying how far London is away (15,030 km); Jen and I at the King's Canyon



Us at the King's Canyon again and first night around the campfire.



Group shot at the Olga's and mini-group shot (l-r Pat, Eva, Jen, Rachel, Me) at the Olga's



Us at Ayer's Rock (Uluru) and a picture of it as it starts to turn a different colour (sunset)



Group shot at the rock (l-r Stuart, Me, Jen, Pat, James Sylvia, Rachel, Robyn, Myriam - crouching); mini-gp shot on the alk round the base



YMCA on the bus; us on a camel (can't remember if this one was called 'Psycho' or 'Killer')



Us at 'The Last Supper' and the quote of the trip...

'Any Adventure.
Anywhere in the World.
I will take you there...'

This quote will have a real relevance - trust me...you'll just have to read the rest to find out why...

So we're back - and in three days we've (been) driven over 1,600 kms, have walked over 20 (more than I have walked cumatively in the last 3 years yet alone days...), and have both ridden and eaten camel (although not the same ones). More importantly we've had a bloody great time. The hardest part on the first morning was getting up, which we somehow managed and stumbled onto the 'Mulga's Tours' bus at around 6.30am. Darrin - our driver, guide, storyteller, and all-round nutter for the next 3 days seemed chirpier than most and we were soon on our way. As an ice-breaker he got everyone to get up and tell all about themselves. The best confession surely came from Claudia who confessed about the time when she hadn't worked for any exams...the only way she could get out of it was for a couple of 'friends' to break her fingers by slamming them between two desks. Her teachers then let her pass the year and not stay down a year...NICE! Introductions done we headed off on our big adventure. We truely were an international bus, made up of the following people (apologies to anyone who's name we've spelt wrong...:
2 Swedes - Magnus and Johanna - he is a chef, (oh how we laughed when we mentioned the Muppets and the Swedish chef, unsurprisingly having worked in London for a year he'd heard it a few time before...)
2 Germans (the by now famous Claudia, and Eva - not travelling together though)
1 Frenchwoman - Myriam (travelling for the moment with Claudia)
1 Canadian - Kian, who sports a great tattoo on his chest
1 Scot - Stuart, just sporting new dreadlocks
1 Japanese girl who's name I can't spell (SORRY!)
The rest of us were all Poms - Me, Jen, and Pat obviously and:
Jess, Robyn, and Maura - on Gap year off to uni later in the year - lucky sods...(also big Vic & Bob fans, great renditions of said funnyman's work on night 2 - 'I love the smell of....'etc etc....)
James - Alan Partridge in diguise, very funny (dirty) Leeds fan
Rachel - Mad Tate Modern woman - great laugh, known now for an appalling redition for the Vall-der-ee, Vall-der-ahhh song...we have the evidence on video...
oh, and one mad 'lazy bastard' Aussie guide...

The ice-breaker seemed to work and we were all getting on really well by the time we got to our first turning which, Darrin explained, would be a rare occurance. From that point every junction got rapturous applause and wild cheers, we even did a 'U-ie' to the bemusement of a couple in a campervan and went absolutely nuts...guess you had to be there for that one really. The first port of call was to be the King's Canyon (named, according to Darrin, after Elvis after it's discovery in the late 1800's). Lots of opportunities for ooh's and ahhh's on the walk around it...truely breathtaking views - it is, after all, the biggest canyon in the world as the Grand Canyon is actually a gorge not a canyon...technically...Anyhoo, off to the waterhole where a few brave souls dived in and promptly jumped straight back out. I would love to repeat on here what those hardy guys said as they entered the water but as it's just 4-letter words I will spare you the details. I think the only people to do it were Stuart (he's from Scotland and has been in Loch Lomond in the winter so he was fine), James (twice) and Eva & Rachel - who'd borrwed Jen's swimming cossie for the dubious pleasure. We all stayed on the side and ate snakes given to us by Darrin. (Jelly ones)

After the walk we stopped off for tea (Camel con Carne, or Chilli con Camel depending on your view) before heading off for our first night in the outback...beers were drunk and the name game was played - Stuart coming up with inspired 'Pontius Pilate' when presented with the letter P. Utter genius. James kept us entertained with his encyclopadic knowledge of Alan Partridge, we all had a go on a genuine didgereedoo and Pat lost at the drinking games - badly...

Up at 6ish for our trip to the Olga's - these are basically loads of round(ish) rocks that you can walk through and are even more sacred to the Aboriginals than Uluru. It was exceptional, the walk taking in some great Kodak moments and our first group photo - to appear here soon hopefully. We made it to Uluru for sunset, and had a nice cold beer whilst watching the sun go down. If you were wondering it really does change colour, and is as spectacular is it is in all the photos world-wide. Again, loads of piccies and another group shot were had. Night number two was much colder than the first night - and we had a bloody early start - 6am...not great after a few cheeky beers and a 1.30 bed-time...God I feel old...

Anyhow, we made it to Uluru but couldn't climb it due to high winds...this solved a nasty dliemma as the Aboriginals are not keen for you to climb it anyway (interestingly if you do they call you Minga's - bit harsh they don't even know us - it means 'ants' in their language btw). So, we set off on the 10 km base walk - walking round the whole thing. The stragglers - Me, Jen, Pat, Eva, Rachel and the Japanese girl (sorry again) made it back one whole hour after the rest of 'em...by which time James had taken to the mike for some impromtu karaoke, safe to say a career in singing does not beckon, although stand-up maybe a possibility...

So, to the end of our trip - a short stop at a camel farm for a quick ride and lark around with a friendly dingo (ironically named after Lindy Chamberlain's daughter), followed by arrival back in Alice. What to make of the 3 days? Unbelievable! The sites themselves were interesting but the whole trip was made great rather than just good due to a couple of other things...namely:

Darrin - this guy is an absolute headcase, but he can tell a great story, build a ripping fire and can gell a grroup of people together really quickly - we cannot recommend him and the tour itself highly enough.
The people - we're pretty convinced we'll never get a group like this on a tour again. Everyone out for a good time, friendly, fun, no egos, just a great bunch of people having a great time...we'll hopefully be staying in touch with a few and have invited Eva over to ours when she's next in England...she's reciprocated too

Ahhh to the quote...I didn't hear it - we have it though thanks it to the three Pommie girls (Maura, Robyn and Jess)...it was said by a love-struck guy to his girlfriend whilst watching the sunset at Uluru - the girls somehow managed not to vomit. It became the quote of the trip (along with Eva's 'I want to be a pussy!') instantly and was written ceremonially on the windscreen in marker pen.

The trip iteslf was basic yes, but the swags were great and relatively warm - hey we also got to stay in areas with no other people and as above, our guide was exceptional. I would recommend Mulga's tours and Annie's Place to anyone and can honestly say it's been 3 of the best days we've had since we've been away. Photos should appear here tomorrow. Off to Cairns tomorrow afternoon for some sun (it was -2 last night) and some diving...can't wait.

Just a very quick one - we're in Alice Springs, and have booked a 'no frills' 3 day tour to Uluru. We're also going to King's Canyon too. Both nights are out under the stars and we're sleeping in a 'swag bag' - I always thought that was what burglers carried. It was -2 last night so in preperation we bought ourselves a new beanie hat each. We're booked into a great hostel who're also running the tour so should be a laugh...there's 29 of us and all but 6 are women so Pat's a happy man...

Jen outside her hotel (!) Notice that it's shut - this picture was taken at about 9pm!!!! Us on a ferry - me 'CM4'-ing and Jen asleep - some would say our joint fave past-times...



It's the Dan and Jen wildlife show - A penguin at night (using Jen's camera on nightshot); seals and Kangaroos - all Kangaroo Island.







The Remarkable Rocks and Dan & Pat; Dan & Jen



Jen & Sunset over Kangaroo Island, and our resident Kanga at night!

Our last day on KI was spent pretty much in the van as Jen was feeling a bit rough and the waether was awful. In the evening the local pub came and picked us up (!) and we had a few beers and a bottle of locally made wine which wasn't half bad. The bloke that gave us a life in spent 20 mins saying we'd done the right thing by not drinking and driving etc etc...and then promptly wolfed down 2 bottles of wine with his wife...someone else dropped us back - thank God!

We boarded the ferry back to the mainland this morning after spending 20 minutes watching it get battered by the waves on it's way over...and the trip back wasn't any smoother. It was like a scene from a film as things rolled across tables and people formed an orderly queue to go and be sick in the toilets. None of us succumbed though although Pat said he would have had we been an extra 10 minutes or so...

A couple of hours, and an altercation with a lorry driver, later (he even gave me the 'birdy' - what a friendly chap!) we arrived in Adelaide at Backpack Oz. They very kindly picked us up from the 'campervan deposit place' and although basic the place is excellent - free videos, pool table, lift to the airport tomorrow, and most importantly of all, friendly and informative staff. Adelaide itself seems to have it's fair share of nutters/weirdos. So far we've had sightings of at least 3 Tourette's sufferers, and enough grungey types to fill a Soundgarden concert 30 times over. No-one seems very friendly either - maybe it's the weather as it's currently pissing it down.

Luke (our mate from Melbourne) sent us a text messgae saying he'd bumped into Jason McCartney in the street and told him about the '3 Poms' trip to the footy' and said to say 'Hi!' to the Roos new English fans...cool eh? Kind of. So off to Uluru over the course of the next few days - no idea how we're going to get there or on what kind of tour, but either way unlikely to be any updates (other than photos that I'm trying to upload now) for a few days - not until we reach Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef anyway...

Wednesday was a real wildlife day. We started at Seal Bay and spent some time on the beach on a tour of the sea-lion breeding centre. There were no barriers and we were allowed within about 5 metres of the animals. One pup even came right up to us for photos. Great fun. We then went over to the New Zealand Fur Seals Colony (over 10,000 of them here but you couldn't get as close) and saw Admiralty Arch which will eventually erode to leave an island. Our final stop was at the 'Remarkable Rocks' - huge rocks that were formed thousands of years ago by the volcanic activity in the region and have subsequently been weathered so they now resemble Henry Moore sculptures. We got there for sunset and got some great piccies.

Over night we found out why Kangaroo Island is so named as a 'roo decided to use our van for shelter from the wind and took up residence by our driver's side door. He also kept sniffing round for food but we heeded the warnings not to feed so he left hungry. He didn't keep us awake too long, and by the time we got up this morning he'd gone...

We spent half an hour this morning on a 'Koala Walk' and, by jove, we saw some in the wild for the first time. They were, predictably, all asleep and about 30 foot up in trees...ho hum, at least we saw some though. Jen is feeling a little under the weather with a stomach bug so we've decided today will be a nothing day and will probably get to the campsite fairly early. Tomorrow morning we're on the ferry at 10.30 and should be dropping the van in Adelaide around 2pm (ish). We are flying to Alice Springs at 9.40am on Saturday and wil then do a 3 day trip to Ayers Rock (Uluru) with some camping involved (oh goody!) no doubt.

So unsurprisingly the whales decided to do a no show. Still no spottings and although we waited for about 1/2 an hour at the spotting platform they didn't turn up on cue as we'd hoped. The next drive was all set to be a bit of a trek (although nothing of what was to come the next day...) and with that in mind we decided to visit Cape Bridgewater. The sign said '600m past headland - allow 2 hours' and a couple returning to the car park confirmed that it was a 'tough walk'. Being the supreme athletes that we are we decided 'what the hell' and set off in pursuit of our goal - a colony of seals which live on the cape, sheltered from all the rough seas and bad weather. En route we passed Victoria's tallest cliff (130m) and eventually we reached a couple of viewing platforms which enabled us to get a good (but not amazing) view of the seals doing their thing. Some were playing energetically, some diving for fish, some just lazing around catching some rays...I wonder what type of seal I'd be...? After a few minutes scrambling down the cliff to get a better view and some photos (Mum would have had a fit - 'Daniel, don't go down there it's cordoned off for a reason' etc etc...) we headed back, knackered but pretty happy with the whole walk and wildlife. Next stop the blowholes (just big crashing waves really) and petrified forest which was basically a load of trees that got covered in limestone or something tens of thousands of years ago. The trees then rotted from the inside of their new cases and thus a kind of stone forest was born. Eerie, weird but strangely interesting.

So, head down and onto Mount Gambier - which was once volcanic. All that remains now is a huge crater which is now a reservoir and provides all the local community with drinking water. It's meant to be grey in the winter but it looks very blue on our photo! The night out here was hilarious given that we went to an Irish Bar for tea and at 8.45 gut turfed out as they were closing...an Irish Bar. ON BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY...(why do the Aussies get a day off for the Queen's birthday and we don't...? (answers on a postcard to John Howard, c/o Australia)

On waking up we decided to make the trek towards Adelaide in order to jump on a ferry to Kangaroo Island either Tuesday evening or Wednesday...however, when we rang the ferry company they said we needed to pre-book because our van is over 5m long..D'oh! So we decided to put the maniac driver (me) in charge and proceded to aim to drive 300 km in 3 1/2 hours. In a 6m long, 3.3m tall campervan. On B roads. Well we were doing OK 'til we got stuck behind the learner motorbiker, the trail of cars that pulled out in front of him, and an ice-cream truck and with 1/2 an hour to go we still had about 50kms to drive. I will spare you of the full details but safe to say we made the ferry with Jen feeling so sick she could barely stand and Pat also looking green. Hey I was fine though!!!

Kangaroo Island is great - not just Kangars here but loads of wildlife. Last night we went to the Penguin Centre in Penneshaw and saw them in their natural habitat as they came home from a hard day at the ocean. It was a great hour or so and I managed to take a couple of pictures too to add to the Cornwell wildlife collection. One humerous moment was when an American with a 2 foot mullet (perfectly groomed I kid you not about the length - Billy Ray Cyrus would have been soooooooo proud) arrived and I proceded along the lines of the following conversation with Pat:

Me: 'What do Penguins eat?'
P: 'Fish'
Me: 'What sort of fish?'
P: 'I dunno, mackerel...?'
Jen: 'No, mullet surely...'
Pat: 'Do they? Oh I dunno....'

So us being childish didn't work because Pat didn't get the joke. Oh how we laughed.

Afterwards we went for a beer in a place straight out of Hicksville, Tennessee, where Jen stroked a little puppy and the bloke at the bar said something along the lines of 'you won't do that in 10 months' without knowing we own a dog twice the size of his house (probably) - oh the irony....they were all leathered and were not the friendliest Aussies so after one beer we moved on...back to bed...wimps that we are. Today we've found an internet cafe (yay!) as Pat can't get GPRS an the island - in fact no phone signal here - and we're now off to explore - more seals, and hopefully some koalas and the like.

One thing we have noticed about Aussies is that they like to abbreviate everything by putting an 'O' on the end of everything...so far we've had:

Vego - vegetarian
Smoko - smoke break
Rego - car registration
Spazzo - offensive remark against an opposing player in the 'footy'

...to name but a few...

Time for some more pictures - first up, me and Jen on a very famous street...that's Harold's house in the background apparently; and also the night out with Flic & Luke, l-r Pat, Nick, Flic, Luke, Kim, Dan - Jen's taking the photo.



Metropolitan, cosmopolitan Melbourne by night, and the two of us stood outside the stadium with the scoreline and Jason McCartney towering over us.



A couple from the Great Ocean Road...2 tourists and...a) The 12 (alledgedly) Apostles, b) London Bridge (is falling down, falling down...)

Our first night away was spent in Lorne where we managed to see absolutely nothing. We arrived at dusk and then did a big shop before being far too tired to do anything other than sleep. This morning we went to a waterfall (Erskine Falls) that was pretty unspectacular, before heading off towards the most famous parts of the Great Ocean Road. The 12 Apostles are 12 sandstone rocks hundreds of feet high that have formed over the years due to erosion from the tide. We could only spot 10 1/2 though. Maybe Judas had persuaded a couple to crumble and the 1/2 was a lamb or something...anyhow - great views and piccie opportunities. We also saw 'London Bridge' which used to be a bridge but is now an island. There is a reputedly funny story about the day the middle section collapsed leaving the island...a man and women were on it and were eventually rescued later on that day after being filmed by a passing news helicopter. HIS wife wasn't too impressed...when she saw them both on the news...neither was his boss as he'd rung in sick that morning.

So here we sit in Warrnambool - some 400 km into our 2nd road trip - it was a little further than we thought but the only other stay-in-able room en route was in a a place called Peterborough and you know my feelings on that one. Warrnambool is one of the best places in the world to whale watch, as the whales migrate for the summer or winter - can't remember which. Having said that they haven't made and apprarances so far this year...let's hope their alarm is set for June 10th this year as that's what we're doing tomorrow. Pat is looking into the possibility of diving with Great White's - we're going to have to pass on it due to cost but if he does it we'll meet up with him later.till no idea on our route/itinery from here - just see how it goes really.

Another in a series of great nights out. We started out at a bar where the Poms whooped the Aussies at pool (2-0 - read it and weep!) and Pat was in exceptional form potting a couple of long ones en route. For tea we had 'ParmaGarna' which is basically a piece of chicken wrapped in ham, a tomato sauce, and covered in cheese. Just to finish the lard fest they then bung it on a bed of chips, to appease the girls they added some lettuce and the like. The gang had expanded to 7 and was soon to be 10 when we finally made it to an Irish Bar which was actually rather good. Interestingly, being the king of facial hair, Luke's friends also wore similar pogs - every one of them sporting a fetching beard of some description. Even the girls. Not really.

Anyhow we chatted and drank until the small hours, one of the most interesting thints we covered being 'Scavenger Hunt' which happens at Melbourne Uni every year and it is basically a big...Scavenger Hunt. What happens is that the previous years winners get to write a list of around 3-600 items for teams to collate in a 24 hour period. The teams are then awarded points based on the difficulty of the item. e.g. The most naked people up a tree photo - 500 points, a fire engine 1000 points, and a police car door 5000 points. Luke is captain of a team that has finished 2nd on a number of occasions...he didn't manage the police car door but did manage getting the boys in red to drive their engine around to the judging panel. He also onced changed his name by deed-poll to the name of his team (His name became 'I. I.' - I think that one was 1,000 points...). Why don't they have uni events like that back home...pure genious, pure carnage.

Feeling decidedly worse for wear in the morning (we didn't get to sleep til after 5am - rock and roll !!!!) we had a bit of a walk round Melbourne. It's much more cosmopolitan and multi-cultural than Sydney, and has loads of great little spots and excellent bars and cafes.

In the evening one event I had really been waiting for - AFL - the footy. Now it's not footy as we know it but 36 (18 on each team) rabid Aussies running around a cricket pitch trying to kick a rugby shaped ball through some posts - mayhem. Last's night game was played at the 50,000 all-seater Telstra Dome - and last night it was bursting at the seams with over 43,000 crammed in for the local derby between Richmond Tigers and North Mebourne Kangaroos - the 'home' team. The match itself took on a huge significance as the 'Roos' number 5 - Jason McCartney - was severely burnt in the Bali bombings and last night was his comeback match after 8 months out with horrific injuries. It was a truely moving spectacle as a number of teams who lost players were represented by fellow team-mates at the start of the match. Jason himself wore a shirt with 88/202 stitched onto it in remembrance of the 88 Aussies and 202 poeple that died last October, and received an exceptional ovation from both sets of fans at the start of the game, despite only being named on the subs bench. So the scene was set...on the walk to the ground I had secretly decided I would cheer for Richmond as they play in black and amber (Cambridge) and the Roos play in blue and white (Boro Scum) and it is against all my principles to cheer for anything in blue and white, hell I even boycotted Thomas Cook for 5 years when they sponsored Boro...BUT the Aussie guy I sat next to was a Roos season ticket holder and he was such a nice guy, explaining all the rules, and exchanging sporting anecdotes that I did the unthinkable...cheered for a team in blue and white. By the end of the 100 minutes play (spread over 4 quarters) I was as wrapped up as anyone...

It was a great match - Luke said we'd chosen a hell of a game to go to afterwards...and going into the final 1/4 the scene was set with the scores within 3 points. Then the moment the whole crowd (and to be honest me, being a bit of a sentimentalist, too) had been waiting for. With the Roos trailing by 3, McCartney, obviously struggling to keep pace with the game somehow managed to catch a ball (a mark) some 25 yards out and thus had the opportunity, with about 5 mins to go, of kicking a goal to put the Roos into the lead by 3. The whole crowd roared as he stepped up and cooly slotted the ball over. He was mobbed, fans hugged each other and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. The drama clearly hadn't ended as the Tigers went straight up the other end and slotted a goal of their own. So, into the last 2 mins and the Roos attacking saw them in good field position, but without a clear opportunity until their number 5 somehow managed to get a scuffed kick away under pressure which was taken on the full by another forward for an easy goal and a 3 point victory. It was fitting that when the final siren sounded Jason McCartney has the ball in his hands and was then surrounded by not just his team-mates but the players from Richmond. All around us grown men were shedding tears, yet were exhalted, there was no doubt we had been a part of something that'll go down in Aussie sporting folk historty for decades to come. He was then hoisted shoulder-high and did an impromptu press conference where he announced his retirement, which was no real surprise as footy is a hell of a physical sport and he could only play with full compression suit and gloves. He has agreed to stay on with the club until the end of the season and has then got a role lined up in the media - good luck to him too. Having been a sports fan since my father first took me to football matches when I was 10 I have seen many memorable things both live and on telly...Cambridge at the Millennium (although we got hammered), the Eagles winning at Wembley, Goran winning Wimbledown etc etc...but this was possibly the most emotional sporting night I have ever witnessed - absolutely magical...we were so lucky to be a part of it. (Click HERE for offical webisite and aftermatch comments)

So, we said our goodbye's to Luke and Flic - you won't find 2 nicer people, and extended invites to England - hopefully one day they'll be able to take us up on the offer...if not I could always get a gang together and visit them for Scav Hunt!!! We're now in the campervan office and, after having a good look at the 2 1/2 berth van have decided to go for the 4 berth one instead so they're spending a couple of hours cleaning it for us. Not sure of our route yet but we'll be taking in most of the Great Ocean Road en route to Adelaide. We also want to get to Phillip and Kangaroo Islands and do a bit of whale-watching. We're disappointed to be leaving Melbourne so soon, it's a great city, really vibrant but very different to Sydney. Who knows, one day we may be back, I for one, hope so.

Just a very quick shout to my brother's mate Laura...THANKS for paying the China cheque in - much appreciated. She's looking after all the post when my bro's out here and has already paid the cheque in - so Laura we'll raise a glass to you tonight when we're meeting up with Luke and Flic whom we met in Chengdu - China. We've already had Nando's with Luke though at lunch time...

The Neighbours set then...erm well it was a street called Pin Oak Court (not Ramsay Street) but the houses were vaguely recognisable. We also got to see Erinsborough High (called Blackburn English School). There was no sign of Bouncer, Helen Daniels or Cody, although I've been told they're all dead. We're not staying for the meet the Neighbours night on Monday where Dr Karl Kennedy is the special guest star...gutted eh?

We have also changed our itinery to the following:

17 July (Day after State of Origin III) - Brisbane to Darwin
26 July - Darwin to Perth
16 Aug - Perth to Brisbane
17 Aug - Brisbane to Auckland
1 Oct - Auckland to Santiago
8 Nov - Rio to Lima (via Santiago)
20 Dec - Quito to Madrid
27 Dec - Madrid to Barcelona
2 Jan (2004!!!) - Barcelona to MANCHESTER - HOME! So we won't be back for Xmas (which we wanted to be) but if we were we'd have had to rush everything to the extent that we would miss out on South America. Also it means I can hit the job market at the best time of year...it'll be strange being on the other side of the desk...

McDonald's with an internet cafe - I kid you not. Now if they served beer and showed footy what reason would there ever be to leave? Here are some piccies for you via my brother (again).

Firstly my homage to the king of all kings, and a shimmery one of us wine-tasting in the Hunter Valley.



Pat, Bob, Koala, and Me; wallaby grabbing Jen's hand as she feeds it sugarpuffs.



My brother and me (how camp??) waiting for the white water rafting; us in the sea at Bryon Bay - it was bloody cold.



Jen silhouetted on Byron Bay beach; us just after a race - l-r Pat, Rich, Jen and me...Rich won - GIT!!!

A great night out followed, and an inpromptu dip in said freezing sea at around 10pm...all good fun. Yesterday (Tuesday) we decided, despite the freezing rain and cloudy weather, to head to the biggest and best water park in Aus. It was great fun - there were about 10 'rides' and they seemingly had catered for all forms of falling down a slide - some lying down, some sitting up, some head first. There was also a massive wavepool where I proceded to nearly drown - how ironic would that have been given the amount of time we've spent on the actual sea in real waves...?

The trip to the water park was not without event however, as Helen decided instead to go to the cinema and as she did so, she turned my phone off...when she tried to turn it back on she realised she didn't know the PIN. We'd already emailed though and we managed to arrange a place to pick her up...we were nearly down to 4 not 5...anyhow, a mad adash up the coast to Brisbane followed and we managed to find a space at a campsite despite it being the National Caravan and Motorhome show just up the road. They did stick us on an 'emergency' stand at first but when we realised we were on about a 20 degree incline (thus, no sleep) we managed to persuade them to move us...

The park was miles from anywhere so we settled down for the night with some of the Hunter Valley wine and Peter Kay - Live from the top of the Tower ('Garlic bread?, bread with garlic on it....') before bedding down for the night. The rain did not abait however and pretty much all of us had a broken night's sleep whilst the storm continued outside.

So 5 has become 3 - travelling with 2 others we'd previously not met (Helen & Rich) was for the most part great fun. I am sure they are looking forward to their privacy a little as I know we are...I don't think we annoyed each other that much although a couple of times the atmostphere was a little charged...hey what do you expect with 5 people in the space of a jail cell for 12 days!! Either way we're all still friends (I hope) and we've vowed to meet up in Cairns in about 2-3 weeks for some fun and diving. This afternoon, in order to kill time before our flight we went to see 'Old School' - funny in parts but no real storyline...it killed a couple of hours though, and we've now arrived at Brisbane airport for our 6pm (ish) flight. Next stop Melbourne where we meet with Luke & Flic (the most bearded man in the world and his Dentist friend - we met them in Chengdu), we are going to tour the Neighbours set, and also go to an Aussie Rules match, hopefully at the MCG on Saturday. From there we head off down the Great Ocean Road before winding up in Adelaide on the 14th in preparation for the trip up to Ayres Rock (Uluru). En route we are trying to fix up a 'dive with Great White Sharks in a cage' type thing...not sure where or when yet but apparently you can do it in Aus.

Oh and while I remember part 5 (or something) in a series of 'our faith in humanity is restored...'. We have received a cheque for 160 quid from CTS (China Travel Service) Hong Kong Ltd. for the flights we cancelled and we thought we had no hope of getting a refund for...yay! This means with BA's 300 we actually about broke even getting out of China. Certainly helps. Also we're now booked onto the Neighbours tour - going tomorrow - we will be going to Ramsey Street and will get to see Erinsborough High (whatever that is) and hear some new storylines...can't wait.

Nothing really to report other than that we had a great night out with good beer, great food and a couple of weird but good bands. This morning we went for a swim in the sea and proceded to get buffeted about by wind and currents before heading into town. We are currently finalising our route for the next few weeks...more specifically Melbourne to Adelaide from 4-14 June.

So I've not written for a couple of days which usually means we're having a good time right? RIGHT! The horse riding was a blast even if I did get the worlds only gay horse to ride on...well 'Trooper' was described as 'having a boyfriend'. He's a gelding though, and so is his partner...confused...? I was...anyhow, enough about horse sexuality and onto the riding. We went through about 10 km of rainforest and although we were promised that there were Koalas we didn't see any. The trip took us through some lovely scenery and my 'usually lazy bugger' of a horse even managed a trot or two. Poor sod. He did look truely knackered at the end. The estate on which the horse riding is set has been owned by the people who took us riding for about 5 years and they own 400 acres - read it and weep. You can buy a 5 bed house with 5 acres out here (albeit 20 km from the coast) for about $500,000 Aus...about 200k to you and me. Ho hum...will someone remind me why we live in England again....?

In the evening we all went bowling and Rich topped the scoring charts with a whopping 177. Both me and Pat managed creditable averages of about 125. Jen wasn't last so she was chuffed! We thought it'd be rude not to visit the pub Russell Crowe had a big drunken fight in a few months before his wedding (he lives just up the road), but the big burly and thick as pig-shit bouncers barred Jen and Helen's entry on the grounds that 'you need ID if you are under 32'. I nearly asked if he meant IQ or age, as he would clearly have needed ID for the former. Ho hum...trip back to the van and an early night where Jen, Helen and Pat all tied last and were all shit-heads. I'm not telling you who lost the play-off they decided to have to choose a clear 'winner'. She won't let me.

On the evening (before the cards) we booked onto a day's white water rafting on the Nymboida River for the following day (yesterday). It proved to be great fun although we did nearly flip the boat on one of the more dangerous sections. We knew we were in trouble when the guide's command changed from 'get down, get down' to 'f**ing get down - NOW!' Very amusing. A great BBQ was had by all before we headed back.

An early night then, and then an early(ish) start to get to where we are now (Byron Bay - not the internet cafe). First impressions are good, although loads of travellers and, ahem, alternative lifestyle people (see Khao Sarn Rd for details). Should be good fun for a day at the beach and possibly a day's diving before we head North to Surfer's Paradise and Brisbane. The van has to be back on Wednesday by 4.30pm and anyhow, our flight to Melbourne is at 5.50ish...it's a Qantas internal so let's hope there's no nutters with wooden stakes.

10 Things we love about Australia - in no particular order...

1. The bluntness of their signs - e.g. FOXOFF (fox poison laid here), Stop, Revive, Survive (road safety - stop every 2 hours), 'Will all shoplifters please smile for the cameras on the way out' and 'Free lift to police cell for all thieves...'
2. Pubs are open 24 hours and by law all of them have hotel rooms...so if you've had one too many...
3. The people are so goddamn funny, self-depricating humour, everything's done with a smile
4. SPORT is so important here - they live and breathe it (even if it is the ones played by men with odd shaped balls)
5. The weather is (generally) great - even in winter
6. Their animals (roos, wallabies, koalas et al) are so much more cuddly and fun than our wild animals (ferrets, rats rabbits etc...)
7. They worship eating - fast food abounds, every town has a KFC/McDonalds and copious amounts of kebab houses
8. The beer is served in pumps that are so cold they ice up...honestly!
9. Facilities for travellers are unbelieveable, yet they don't look to fleece you. Sydney is such a travel friendly city - such a contrast from London.
10. The wide open spaces, scenery, lack of traffic jams, well signposted areas...I could go on...

Things we hate

1. They always beat us at sport
2. Their country's infrastructure is so much better than ours
3. They get taxed around 30p (total) in the pound - that includes all GST/income tax - everything

That's about it...and to honest all 3 bad ones are things that are good about Aus anyway. I would move out here without a second thought but it's not as easy for Jen as last time we looked into it (about 2 years ago) there was a surplus of dentists in the major cities making it pretty difficult for her to move...ho hum, only 7 months til we're back in England and all it has to offer....

Port Macquarie was a one-nighter - not a whole lot in that particular town. Very funny when we tried to get some food at about 9.15pm - everywhere was shut as (according to a taxi driver) 'everywhere shuts at 9 sun-thurs'. We did find a chinese that was open though and had a bloody awful one. We did find one fantastic place however - a Koala sanctuary. Here we got the opportunity to have photos taken with the cuddly buggers and also got to feed Kangaroos and Wallabies for an hour or so...very cathartic. We now reside in Coff's Harbour - between Byron Bay and Port Macquarie, and probably about half way (or just over) on our jhourney up the coast. It's OK here - Jen has badgered me into going horse-riding tomorrow...Pat is considering doing a skydive whilst H & R are off sea-kayaking...we should hit Bryon Bay on Saturday all being well.

The Hunter Valley is huge - we found this out when we decided to walk from the first group of wineries to the second - 3 1/2 kms away, in the rain. We started the day at The Hunter Valley Cheese Factory, where we tasted a variety of great cheeses and finally settled on the priciest but most amazing tasting cheese I think I have ever tasted. It is a 3-year old blue cheese that's soaked in port - amazing. Then off to our first winery - McGuigan's, run by Bruce (not Barry). Here we booked on a tour where we were shown the whole wine making process from picking to cellar. No bottling though as that takes place else where. The guy showing us around had a real enthusiasm and knowledge and we learnt loads about Oaking, Fermentation etc... that I am sure we won't remember past tomorrow. After a good tasting session we settled on a Shiraz and walked to another couple of wineries after lunch.

The 3km walk ended at Lindeman's and Rosemount Estate where we sampled some of the more mass market stuff which tasted just fine too. Last year Lindeman's exported 23 million bottles to the UK and their Bin 65 Chardonnay is the 2nd best selling wine in Aus. It's easy to see why - they're a slick operation and, again, knowledgabloe staff led to an interesting tasting/buying session. I was so comfortable there that I even found time for a little nap - much to the amusement of said staff.

So, a bus ride back and tea of chicken chasseur to come, tomorrow we're starting the real long haul up the coast with me and Jen driving (eek) the first port (quite literally) of call is Port Macquairie where we are hoping to do some white ater rafting and the like.We will hopefully manage to get better weather as it's horrid here - it's that really fine rain that soaks you through (copyright Peter Kay - 'it's spitting...').

Our campsite in the Hunter Valley is great - we've got a powered site with an en-suite toilet and shower, it's funny but 6 months ago I never thought things like that would be a luxury...Last night was quite eventful - whilst Rich was cooking his steak (that he's looked forward to for days) something plasticy set on fire behind the grill causing some fairly toxic smoke and more than a bit of panic before we managed to find the fire extinguisher and put the inferno out...

Couple of pints at a bad Irish pub was needed after that so that was what we had. Today is 'winery' day - we are starting bizarrely enough at a cheese factory and then we're off to Tyrrells - one of the oldest vineyards in Aus. They do a full tour and free tasting and no doubt we will buy some wine to accompany tea. We're off on a long drive tomorrow again so have got to cram in as much as we can today.

The weather here is bloody awful - max of about 6 degrees today and the blooming fog isn't lifting. Not letting that daunt thus we went out searching for the Blue Mountains and we saw at least a little of them. We started off with a train journey on the world's steepest furnicular railway, which lasted all of 3 minutes and was more akin to a kind of bad rollercoaster. The funniest part was when they played the Indiana Jones music at the start...classic. It was, in fact, an ex-mining track from the late 19th/early 20th century and led us down to an area they have now boarded called, imaginatively, 'The Boardwalk'; no sign of Bruce Willis or The Drifters under it, however. We spent a good hour or so walking through the rainforest and got some great views of 'The Three Sisters'. The Three Sisters is a rock formation which, legend has it, are made of local aboriginal women who got turned to stone. They would have been hundreds of feet tall so we thought that particular tale may be more than a little unlikely. In order to ascend we took the Sceniscender - which is basically a cable car. We managed to get a couple of shots before the mist descended and we retreated back to the Campervan. I spent the afternoon sorting through photos and there are a few below courtesy of Pat's laptop and GPRS phone - very slow internet on the move - wahey!! Tonight Jen is determined not to be the shithead and seeing as H & R are so bloody good at the game the likelihood is that it'll be me as it is my turn. Tomorrow we're up early as it's over to The Hunter Valley - we're going to visit a few wineries and sample their wares so tomorrow night's edition may be a little confused...

As I've said above, thought it about time to upload a few piccies...hope you like them...

Sydney - us at the Aussie Stadium for the rugby, and a photo of our 'BridgeClimb (Tm)' photos...



Sydney at Sunset, and me on the Manly ferry with the Opera House in the background.



Us at the Sydney Opera House, and us on Manly beach.



The only time we'll ever be anywhere near an Olympic Podium, and us (me looking very camp) on Bondi beach.



Me with my fave big fiah - a clown anenemefish, unfortunatey it costs $140 (AUS) and is bigger than my rucksack...and finally us with the 3 sisters rock formation in the background - the Blue Mountains...

Friday night was a kind of non-event really proving we are all absolutely useless at partying. We didn't even manage a game of cards and, after watching the rugby on TV, had an early night in preperation of the campervan-picking-up morning ahead.

Arriving at Britz Rentals (ironically a German firm) we saw an assortment of campervans from brank spanking new to old and knackered, some looking like the one of that backpacker that was murdered a few years back. Obviously preparing for the worst we signed our papers and were pleasantly surprised, nay amazed, when we received a brand spanking new Mercedes with only 15,000 miles on the clock. After fannying around for about half an hour putting things in cupboards and the like Pat voluteered for the first drive of the day - Sydney to Byron Bay and then onto Katoomba in the Blue Mountains. The good news is that I got to sit up front as navigator, and after hitting a curb a couple of times we arrived at the place where Cook discovered Australia some 250-odd years ago. If you're wondering why it was good to sit up front...a) I didn't get abuse from people in cars with reference to my brothers driving....one particularly amusing bus driver signaled to the other three that they would need a drink or two and should stop at a nearby pub, and b) I got to play Championship Manager for a full 2 hours as Pat has bought a cable that converts cigarette lighters into mains plugs - amazing eh?

Byron Bay was a bit of a non-event really given that we didn't manage to find the memorial or the historic landing site. We did find a fish and chip shop called Danny's though so it wasn't all bad. The trip to Katoomba was pretty uneventful, only one obscene hand signal from another driver, and no accidents. I'll stop at this juncture to describe the van...well it's kinda great, we've got all the amenities you need, shower, bog, toaster, fridge et al...and we've even got a heater that we found we needed last night as it's bloody freezing here. Katoomba is the gateway to the Blue Mountains. The Blue Mountains are supposed to be one of the most spectacular areas of natural beauty in Aus (other than Kylie's backside of course). I say suppose because we have been surrounded in fog since arriving. To be honest we don't know if the mountains are there - let alone if they are blue. Nethertheless, invigored by a great big Mum-esque casserole last night we are doing the typical Brit abroad thing by not letting the weather affect us so we're off on a hill-walk today. There is also talk of a cable car and train at some point...

Katoomba itself is similar to any number of resort villages in the Lake District, with a good mix of tourist and local amenities and we have to keep reminding ourselves where we are - it feels just like home. Bizarrely enough, to emphasis this my brother stated 'We could be in Norfolk' this morning....well quite. Tomorrow we're off up to the wine-making districts of the Hunter Valley after an early start.

One other slightly bizarre note of interest - last nights card game (round 2) ending in a victory for Tricky Dicky, with Jen last (Helen won before with Pat last). Technically speaking, and due to the name of the game Jen is now the 'Shithead', and Pat is relieved of those duties...please don't ask.

We decided (one day late) to take a trip out to Bondi Beach. After about 309 mins on a bus and 30 mins walking after we missed the stop we should have got off at we finally arrived at the famous sand-pit. It was pretty much like the Cornish coast although the surf was a bit higher and it was a little warmer. We then walked about 6 km from Bondi through a town called Bronte (no sisters on view) and through to Coogee which is a bit like Blackpool, withour the raw sewage. It was f aun way to spend the afternoon even tough our feet hurt now. In the evenihng we met up with Vanessa wjhom we met in Thailand and went out for Nando's and a coule of drinks. Pat stayed out (we were knackered) and had a very interesting evening spent in the company of an Aussie butter called Mick. at was so scared of the sinister Mick that when said headcase went for a loo-break Pat sprinted out of the door and ran home...

After an early start this morning we made it up to Taronga Zoo where I made the mistake of spekaing my thoughts out loud on the ferry over there. What I said was 'I dunno why we're going here I bloody hate zoos'. At least the Yanks in front laughed... As expected there were some cuddly Koalas and sleeping kangaroos and that was about it. Pretty poor to be honest but hey I felt fairly vindicated...we then went for a bit to eat and a trip round Sydney Aquarium which was everything the zoo wasn't - informative, interesting and incredibly large meaning the fish got a reasonable tank space. There were a few triggerfish and some very cute clown anemone fish (my faves - see sections on diving) and also a Giant Crested Maori Wrasse - a great way to spend an afternoon. On the way back we stopped off for a couple of games of pool and I remain underfeated in the Antipodes...

The Olympic Park is amazing. A huge site containing what was a 110,000 all-seater stadium (it now only holds 80,000 - they reduced the capacity after the Olympics), the Aquatics Centre, a couple of other stadia, oh and a McDonalds. There are numerous exhibits that have gone on show since the Olympics. Perhaps the most impressive are a couple of exhibits near the main entrance of Stadium Australia (now named The Telstra Stadium). One of these is a set of poles with the names of all 74,000 voluteers who helped with the smooth running of the games - there are 5 Cornwells on there - wonder if we're related to any? There is also what also looks like a beahc hut but is basically 12 TVs done in a circle inside the roof where they play a rolling 2 hour tape of the Olympics with all the best bit. So we got to see Sir Steve Redgrave doing his bit in really dramatic and well-edited fashion. Great.

We managed to get a couple of concession tickets for the Stadium tour and duly spent about 90 mins being showed roundthe huge complex. It is so well planned and built it really makes you wonder if we've got what it takes to do something like this and to be honest the only pang I had of real disappointment in the whole thing was along the lines of 'Why can't Britain do something like this...?' The site itself of course is huge and are we ever going to be able to find an accessible site of that size in London - of course not (if we did the cost of the land would be too much anyway...) therefore why do we persist with a London bid not Birmingham/Manchester etc...? Anyway back to the stadium. We got to see the changing rooms, commentary suites, Gold and Platinum members areas and even got to stand on one of the genuine podiums from the games and had our photo taken. Not quite a perfect photo as those masters of one-up-manship the Aussies make sure that every photo has a huge beaming Aussie flag in the background - nice touch! Before the Olympics you could buy a ticket for the Platinum Area for $34,000 (AUS) - about 15 grand. This gives you 2 tickets to every event to be held at the stadium for 33 years, in the best seats, with bar and food thrown in...hmmmm tempting eh? Unsurprisingly since these limited tickets went on sale only 2 have since chenged hands (after the Olympics) for over $70,000. Sounds like a great initial investment to me...

Arriving back we decided to venture out to Hard Rock Cafe and great fun was had by all, cocktails, shooters, vodka redbull, guinness (!) and some great food was consumed but we all feel a little worse for wear this morning. We think it was the richness of the food. Off out now to Bondi beach and we're going to do a 6 km (!) cliff-top walk to Bronte and Coogee. Should be fun.

Well it's now my birthday and I am 28. I got a number of presents...an apron and big jar of marmite from Mum and Stepdad, a 'rub my tummy make me smile - Happy Buddha t-shirt', a 'dive sites of Australia book', and a couple of presents my brother had obviously spent alot of time getting. One - a signed Cambridge United 'Happy 28th Birthday Daniel' picture and the other - a NEW RUGBY TOP. Those of you not familiar with the rugby top saga - I had my house rugby top for 14 years until a trip to a Thai dive site when it fell of the back of the boat and is now presumably a house for fish and the like. They don't make the same top any more so my brother had one commissioned just to appease all you sarky sods who like to comment about how 'I can't believe you've still got that top' and then smirked inwardly when I lost it...it's back - coming to a photo near you soon.

The weather's not good enough for the planned party on Bondi Beach so we're off to the Olympic Village to see Stadium Australia et al. No idea what we're up to tonight, sure it'll be raucous though.

Our first real day exploring Sydney has been a resounding success...what a great city! Our early start of 8am (weird to think that it was still 11pm last night back home) was a real struggle, but struggle we did and we made it in time for the bridge climb. Since it's opening as a tourist attraction in 1998 over 1 million people have climbed the 1,439 steps and walked the 1.8kms to the summit of Sydney Harbour Bridge (these are stats for the round trip). The summit is 139m above sea level and, after a good hour and a half's climb/walk, we reached our goal. The views were stunning, from Sydney Opera House to the Blue Mountains over 100kms away in the distance. Our guide, Mel, was excellent and even organised an impromptu performance of 'Happy Birthday to You' at the top, albeit a day early. Despite originally having a lifespan of only 70 years (this has recently been extended to 300 hundred years - hey it was finished in 1932 - you do the 'Math') the bridge built at the cost of 16 lives and with over 1 million rivets to it's name is something of a national symbol and climbing it was, for once, something I was glad Jen talked me into.

I went for lunch with an ex-colleague of mine from my MP days - Guy Baynes. He hasn't lost any of his boyish good looks and sparkling repartee (!) and we shared a couple of old anecdotes and grievances before departing - me to the Opera House and him to work. We agreed to meet up for a beer tomorrow night. Guy has been the custodian of all our guidebooks for Aus/NZ and South America as well as our 'Teach Yourself Spanish' book. We have no excuses for not starting now. Cheers for looking after them, see you tomorrow.

The opera house was built in the 60s and the estimated cost was $7m (AUS). The Scandanavian designer who won a competition to design it went so overbudget that the government took control of the building resulting in him leaving before it was finished. To this day he has still not seen it completed. Maybe he was some sort of Anti-Australian corporate spy as the eventual cost to the Aussie taxpayer was a whopping $103m (AUS). Remember this was in the 1960s!! He's now 87 so I guess he'll never see it, as he declines the annual invitation sent via the Australian government.

After the opera house we jumped on the ferry to Manly, and spent some time on the beach watching a bloke with a metal detector (he found $3 in the half hour we were spectating - it's all action here you know ) and some surfers with varying degrees of ability. All good fun. After an amazing hot melted chocolate drink we just made it back for tea of Bangers and Mash! Tonight we're off to the cinema to see the Matrix Reloaded as we (well H & R) found some cheap tickets and stop off at a bar to see in my birthday with a cheeky half. We have no plan for tomorrow except to go out, have a few beers and go dancing. Should be great fun. Also should have some pictures up at somepoint tomorrow.

We've spent the morning having our first look at Sydney. First impressions are great - really bright and airy, with a great mix of modern and contemporary architecture. After a great baguette lunch and a quick haircut, where the barber was moaning about illegal immigrants, we had a quick run around the shops. Fortunately the girls had already decided they wanted to go off on their own so we were spared the 'women shopping' routine...For our sins our only responsibilty was to decide on, and buy, the food for the next couple of days. As we are on a pretty strict budget here we also vowed not to spend money on anything else...oops!

The sum total of our escapade is as follows:

One Set of BBQ tongs/slice/fork (bargain of the day at $8 (all prices in Aus dollars - divide by 2.5 for UKP)
One CD/MP3 Cassette Adapter so we can listen to to music on the car stereo - $30
A Bullmastiff Coaster - $5 (Pressie for Jen - we're both missing the dog)
A BBQ Grill Set - $18
An Adaptor to turn 12V cigarette lighter into 240V so we can use Pat's laptop on the move ($80)
Pressie for Jen - $enough
Food/Wine/Booze shop - $190 (!)

So it's mince, mashed potato and peas tonight and sausages and mash tomorrow. Great to be cooking again...tomorrow we're going up the Harbour Bridge on the Bridge Climb and exploring the rest of the Manly and the harbour. Hopefully the weather will hold up as it has been lovely and sunny today. Am also meeting with an ex-Michael Page colleague for lunch tomorrow. He too has left MP and now works for TMP!! Who'd ever be mad enough to do that???

In other news Rich has now confided that he has fired over 10,000 rounds whilst in the TA and he spent all his formative years training in the gym and kickboxing. I am scared. If you never hear from us again you know why...If you read this Rich - only joking big man!!