Well we have accomplished our mission - we've zorbed, luged and spa-ed and they were all great...but more of that later. We spent yesterday morning visiting Te Whakarewarewa which is New Zealand's 'largest Maori cultural and geothermal visitior attraction'... some 150-odd acres in all. The first thing you notice is the smell - the natural pools give off a kind of sulphur 'bad-eggs' smell and we found out that after a while it gives you a bit of a headache. In my case my vision went a bit funny too but I put that down to the contact lenses. The site itself is really split into two distinct areas: The New Zealand Maori arts & Crafts Instiutute, along with original Maori buildings, and the geo-thermal area. The Maori architechture we had already seen a bit of in Northland so we skipped into the (more exciting) land of Geysers (pronounced Gigh-zer not geezer to my surprise and disappointment, this meant I couldn't go up to them and whisper 'awight geezer' like a cockney) and mud-pools. The largest geyser and most impressive is Pohutu which erupts to some 30 metres...when it feels like it at any rate. We saw it at about 10 metres but it was still impressive and good fun. The surrounding area is a real 'moonscape', although no American flags here (pleny of American visitors though...) They also have a kiwi sanctuary which is in the dark, as they are nocturnal, so you get to see them running around and digging for worms. They are weird looking but strangely enchanting, and we spent a good few minutes observing. Unfortunately the kiwi is highly threatened over here with only about 50,000 left in the wild. Dogs, cats and possums are the main culprits, with one dog alone responsible for tens of deaths in a single day last year.

We decided it was too wet for golf (that fine rain making a reappearance) but instead headed out to a cablecar (Skyline) that gave you a good view of the surrounding area. at the top the luge - a kind of go kart with no engine that just hurtles downhill. You basically sit in this thing and hope and prey you make it round the corners without it tipping you out onto the cold, wet concrete. It was great fun. After the first ('Scenic') run we moved on to the 'intermediate' course (where I won) and then the 'advanced' where Jen won the first one fair and square before overtaking me as I was slowing for the end of the race on the third and final race. She had the cheek to say she won and quite frankly if she wants such a hollow victory she's entitled to it...bad loser moi?

Onto our hotel, which is lovely by the way, and yes, it's nice to be out of that campervan, even if it is just for a couple of days. They put a little note in the room saying congrats on your 3rd anniversary and some chocolates too which we thought was a nice touch. Quick bath (never ever thought I'd think of a bath as a luxury) and then onto our 'traditional Maori experience' - the Hangi. when we turned up some 20 minutes before it was due to start there was already about 50 American tourists in evidence and they had already decided the all-American boy, Jim, from Florida, was going to be chief for the evening. What about me, what about all the Koreans due to arrive in ten minutes. Not a chance, Jim had already decided he would lead the free world...must be an American trait... Jim then received the 'peace twig' on our behalf. Given recent events I half-expected him to pull a grenade out from under his jacket, throw it at the Maori and liberate New Zealand. Anyway enough of this, the food was ordinary, bit like any other buffet the world over, just that this one was supposedly cooked in an oven over hot stones. Supposedly because when they opened the oven to show us how they'd cooked it it looked spotless and the food was conveniently placed at the top. Nonetheless the opening of the ovens sent the Americans (most of them middle aged with fat stomachs, wallets and heads) and Japanese apoplectic with excitement and they videoed the whole event. God help their friends when they get home...'Wow, look an oven' 'Yeah and here's the best bit, it's got food in it...' Hours and hours of fun - guaranteed.

Thankfully, or so we thought, we were sat not with the Americans, but with two Aussie ladies (I use that word very loosely). It turns out the only thing they had any interest in was rugby which wasn't all bad but you tend to tire of it after, ooh say, an hour of nothing else to talk about.

Now the entertainment was everything the food wasn't - colourful, interesting, and fun. The group of nine, in traditional Maori dress, seranaded us for about 45 minutes before encouraging us to participate, women throwing balls on string about (Jen didn't) and men, 'The Haka' (I did). It was great fun, and all in all the night was well worth going to, even if the food was, I suspect, a little less than authentic.

This morning we decided to take a trip out to 'The Agrodome'. This is not a place where you walk in, look at someone's bird and get loads of hassle, no sirree, the agro here stands for agriculture. How refreshing it was to meet up with Jim his anorexic, plastic-faced wife, and tour-group cronies again this morning for the sheep show. The show itself was quite fun, 19 pure-bred rams were paraded whilst some bloke in a vest (it's winter...hello!!) gave a funny, well rehearsed commentary. A couple of times the sheep either fell asleep, or decided to headbutt each other for food, but in the main they were well chaperoned by vest-man. He then sheared (shore? shorned?) one for good measure, stating that the world record time for one sheep being sheared stands at an astounding 21 seconds. (Maybe it was this that was the inspiration for the So Solid Crew? -

'I've got 21 seconds to shear, I've got 21 seconds to shear, so if I catch it on the ear, you'll see the blood flow, I've 21 seconds to go' perhaps not but it's a thought...).

The funiest part (for me and Jen at least) was the cow milking when assorted kids were invited on stage to milk a cow with the biggest udders you've ever seen. The kids were joined by a rather large Californian woman named (I kid you not) BERTHA...oh how we laughed. How I stopped myself from shouting 'which one are you going to milk kids?' I'll never know. Anhow after this we bade a fond farewell to Jim and his lot and scampered as quickly as our van would take us to the Zorbing site.

Zorbing, invented in NZ, consists of throwing youself down a hill in a big rubber sphere. You have 2 options for this - strapped in or with a bucket of water over you so you slip and slide around. We did the latter (both at once), twice! It was fantastic fun and we've got a video clip or two the prove it thanks to Jen's diving case for her camera.

The Polynesian spa was our last port of call today - we tried all the pools, ranging from 36 to 42 degrees (you'll just have to trust me - 42 degrees is damn hot) before an Aix massage - recommended to us by a couple we met whilst rafting. It consists of jets of water being squirted all over you whilst you have a massage. although the rooms looked a bit like an abbatoir it was excellent and I did my usual massage trick of falling asleep.

On our way back to the hotel for our last night of luxury (normality?) for 4 months I stopped off at a map shop and found out the Tongariro crossing that we wanted to do is shut to everyone without 'extensive alpine experience'. Apparently it's crampons and ice-picks only at the mo (what no clothes...???) so we're thinking of getting down to South Island a little earlier than planned, a couple of days before Jen's parents arrive on the 8th Sept.

Jen's managed to find a dentist that'll see her at short notice (the son of her ex-boss' Biology teacher nonetheless...) so a short stop at Tauranga tomorrow before heading off to see the White Volcano.