(Ok then - here goes - mammoth blog entry ahoy. I had already written 30 mins worth when my last PC I was writing on crashed so here goes with this one. If this one goes down it will be ceremonially thrown out of the window.

Well where to start - we arrived back last night from 3 days in the wilderness (quite literally) and were too shattered to write anything last night - that's how goddam' knackered we were...maybe in training for Laos we had a few days away from the internet - more of that later...

Anyway firstly it's nice to be back in the land of the living - you don't appreciate just how much you miss a shower, a bed and a toilet. Well it's not like they didn't have all of those but they were a hosepipe, a mat, and a hole respectively. Secondly although all we saw was a very small potted account of hill-tribes and how they live it was a fascinating experience. Thirdly, I took a whole host of notes so I am about to bore you all to tears...

After arriving at Buddy's tours to find about 30 other people we soon found out that only about half of these hardy (for that read utterly mad) had decided to go on the 3 day/2 night trek - the other less hardy (sensible) were doing one or 2 dayers - ah-ha we thought you wimps...Of the 15 left there were 10 20-something Aussies, all 6-packs and 6 brain cells with identikit travelling companions. Fortunately they were all packed onto a different songthaew (truck with benches - see Koh Chang below) whilst we were joined by Nicolas (business analyst living in Hong Kong - 25 years old) and his parents - Elisabeth and Robert, all from France. Fortunately Nic's English was alot better than my French so he acted as interpreter most of the time although Elisabeth's English was much better than she thought and my French was not too bad given I haven't done any since GCSE 11 years ago (for which unbeliebvably I got an 'A' - thanks Mrs Bowyer!). The first stop was the local market where we were suupposed to help the guides pick something for tea. Unsurprisingly with us all being useless westerners (well me Jen and the Aussies) we didn't venture further than the local 7-11 as the guides went and bought an interesting array of beansprouts, cabbage and a white thing that looked like a cross between a radish and a turnip. No idea what that was...

So onto the waterfall where we had a fried rice lunch. The Aussies (all of them brimful of testosterone...) went for a swim/lark about/attempt to climb up waterfall...we went for a paddle...

We were then off to the first village - Shan tribe - all of us not knowing what to expect - Voodoo rituals? (Yes I know wrong continent - we'll save that for later in the year...), The boiling of innocent travellers in a large pot? Women with long necks and no teeth?

None of the above, what we found was a smartly built village with electricity and villagers with big Isuzu trucks. There were phone lines and everyone was wearing western clothes. Very authentic? It turns out this first village had received alot of money from the king and hence the relative oppulance. They had many many fields of crops and flowers and it all looked incredibly ordered. Very impressive, but were they retaining any of their traditions or just getting swallowed up into increasingly financially motivated Thailand, or just making the best of their situation - can you blame them.... Either way it was a pleasant strole through their grounds and onto the first hill-tribe village. It took about 3 hours for us to arrive at the Karen village and the first thing we were greeted with was hoards of children (all wearing western clothes) trying to sell us beads for 10B (about 13p). I eventually gave in and bought Jen a necklace. I didn't have 10B so gave the child 20B and told him to keep the change. The look on his face alone was worth the whole trip. He proceded to run the length of the village (admittedly only about 100 yards) presumably to tell his Mum & Dad how much money he'd made. Even Jen thought he was cute!!! With the rest of the kids undevided attention we then played with them for 30 mins or so - swinging them round, having play fights etc...it was only when Elisabeth commented how good I was with children I realised it was time to stop....

Tea was amazing - we had our tour guide (Yutu) and his friend (an un-named girl, well I'm sure she had a name it's just that we didn't catch it...) to thank for egg-plant spicy soup, followed by Tom Yam (with sardines - YUCK, although I did down a mouthful to show willing...), a kind of beansprouts and chicken stir-fry, mixed veg, and rice. I can honestly say I have had worse food in numerous chinese restaurants back home, and considering it was cooked over a wood stove and prepared in a hut with few utensils - outstanding!!

When they told us it would get cold we didn't really believe them and as we struggled into our sleeping bags on the cold floor (well a mat on a floor) we covered ourselves with a couple of blankets for good measure. But boy did it get cold...I felt like I remember feeling when camping as a kid when you wake up and your nose feels like a block of ice...I was keeping in touch with the scores, via SMS, from Cambridge's biggest match of the season too (we lost - 4-2 but at 4.01 a.m. we were 2-1 up and I was elated...), so I reckon I got about 30 mins kip max! That said we were up and about by 8.30 and had a breakfast of banana pancake and jam before going to the school where we presented the kids with 2 biscuits each - you should have seen their faces...

One thing of note was that in a village of 30 families (about 200 people) there were 2 churches - 1 protestant, 1 Roman Catholic and the villages were split about 60% protestant, 30% catholic, and 10% buddhist. Not sure why this is...was it because the Roman Catholic missionaries are all men and can't marry thus enabling the protestants to double team the villagers with a husband/wife combo??? Why were the buddhists lagging...? No idea.

Now two 2 and 1/2 hour treks in 35 degree+ heat is no fun, especially if you're as unfit as me, or have a wonky knee, like Jen. However after another stop at a waterfall (our guide & those crazy Aussies decided to jump off a load of rocks into it this time - nutters!) and nursing a couple of blisters (Dan not Jen) we arrived at the second camp. We stayed at the home of a local celebrity who played a guitar like instrument and was very famous in the tribe apparently. We got to meet his mum, his (very) moody wife and his 3 kids - the youngest of which was just 3 and full of smiles. He explained in his best (very) broken English that the tree that shaded us was as old as he was and was his tree. He was 45 and there wasn't an ounce of fat on him. He smoked banana leaves constantly whereas moody-arse (his wife) smoked something decidedly dodgy-looking from a pipe...One highlight was choosing our own tea. We chose a chicken that was then killed, plucked and BBQ'd for us - amazing (!) - it was definitely the freshest we'll ever eat...(even better than KFC - never thought I'd write that...)

Before leaving I gave him our roll of duct tape and he duly went round repairing his hospipe and was absolutely chuffed to bits. It was like he'd got a new one, if we'd known we'd have brought 10 rolls - they really were that kind to us.

We left them at about 10am for our final day. Our guide decided to start us off gently with an uphill kilometre whilst almost running up it. I thought Jen was going to cry/hit me/hit him so I persuaded him to slow down a little and eventually we made it to lunch (where, feeling manly, I made Jen some chopsticks from bamboo which she promptly dropped into the water below...(after some nasty creature (not me) jumped on her)) and the rafting which was great fun. It was interesting that the chap who came to meet us was wearing an authentic tribal costume complete with Manchester United logo - I kid you not!!! He had even heard of David Beckham...

At the rafting we had a great time splashing the French who were on another raft and got thoroughly drenched - it was a really relaxing end to a frenetic 3 days. Only the elephant trek to go which was fairly uneventful (despite our guide getting off halfway through and leaving the elephant to roam...)and then the hour long songthaew back...we let the French use our hotel shower as they were off on a night train to Bangkok and then some other place. They were great companions and we will definitrely keep in touch. We are going to Hong Kong to meet with Nicolas and hopefully go to the Rugby Sevens at the end of March (YAY YAY YAY!!!).

Last night was eventful - we went to a restaurant (The Good View) that basically treated us like the 'farang' that of course we are. No drinks for 20 mins, despite all the Thais getting theirs within 2, starters arriving after main course, not getting what we'd asked for. So we got up and paid for the 2 dishes we had started eating and left. Very disappointing but we managed to find our way to McDonalds OK...before Jen suggested we go to what is turning our to be our local - the Chiang Mai saloon...after a massive burger, chips, wedges, wings, ribs et al we were well and truely stuffed and had had one of the best meals I can ever remember having but then I was nearly delerious with hunger...We met a nice NZ couple on their honeymoon before Jen's knee, mossie bites and our all-round tiredness caught up with us and we went off to bed...

Other things to note are few and far between...

My ear seems to have sorted itself out (thanks to those bloody horse-pills) and indeed I haven't had any problems with it for a couple of days now - fingers crossed.
Jen has got more bites than a computer (despite using tiger balm, DEET, covering up, chasing the buggers round the room at 3am etc...)
We're not going to Pai anymore cos we can't be bothered at the mo and there is still more to do here - cookery course on Monday for one. We are also going to Doi Suthep which is meant to be an amazing vantage point to see Chiang Mai from. I think the plan is also to have a couple of massages tomorrow!
We are then going to head to Laos where there is no internet access (oh noooooooooo!!) and then onto Vietnam for 11/3 when our Visas start. We are now planning to fly to Hong Kong at the end of March to meet with Nicolas (and his girlfriend) and then get a Chinese visa there where it is pretty easy by all accounts. We will do China in 2-3 weeks hopefully taking in the major tourist attractions before heading back to Bangkok, the floating market I promised Jen...(it's not like we haven't been to enough markets or anything though - even she'll admit that...) and the bridge over the river Kwai. We should then have time for diving before hitting Aus somewhat earlier than planned sometime in May...

We have got some photos for you but for the moment and for some reason we can't upload them from this PC so we'll do that next time (hopefully tomorrow) in the mean time we have had a catch up day so some of you may have received emails, please keep them coming back to us!